You are not alone in feeling overwhelmed or craving more solitude during the hectic holiday season.
For many people, the holidays are a fun season — the sparkly lights, music, parties, the feeling of magic in the air, and the refreshing sense of a reset as the new year approaches. While there’s a lot to love about the holiday season, it can also be a challenging time for introverts. (I know this feeling quite well, as I speak from experience as an introvert myself.)
In my work as a psychotherapist, I’ve noticed a few key themes that come up repeatedly for introverts during the holidays. A central one is the feeling of pressure. Introverts thrive on spending time alone in their home sanctuary, but finding this time becomes more difficult around the holidays. Without ample time to ground and recharge, introverts may feel exhausted and overwhelmed.
With that in mind, here are some common things introverts might dread about the holidays.
Why Introverts Might Dread the Holidays
1. Too many social obligations
The parties, the celebrations, the dinners, the gatherings — all the events that fill up the holiday season — oh my! For introverts, this can feel overwhelming when it comes to managing their social battery.
The anticipation of holiday social events often brings up feelings of dread for introverts. For many of us “quiet ones,” it’s not that we dislike celebrating the holidays; it’s about finding the right balance and amount of social activity that works for us. It reminds me of the phrase, “Everything in moderation.” Too much socializing can be draining for introverts, while no socializing at all can leave us feeling isolated. (Yes, even introverts get lonely.)
So why can too many social obligations feel like too much? First, there’s the sheer number of events. It might start with the holiday office party, then a celebration with one group of friends, followed by gatherings with family — which could mean multiple events — and possibly spending time with your significant other’s family, not to mention another round with a different group of friends. All of this crammed into just a couple of weeks? Whew! As an introvert myself, it’s exhausting to even think about.
If the gathering is small and lasts only a couple of hours, it might feel manageable for introverts. But when there are many factors beyond our control — like a large crowd, the potential for endless small-talk conversations, or not knowing how long the event will last — it can feel daunting. Then there’s the mental juggling act of finding a polite “out” when your energy reserves are screaming, “Time to go!”
All of these elements combine to make holiday social obligations a source of dread for some introverts.
2. Houseguests (and less alone time as a result)
The holidays are often associated with spending quality time with family and friends. You might travel to see loved ones, or they may come to stay with you. While hosting houseguests can bring joy, the disruption to your routine and the reduction in alone time can create feelings of dread for introverts.
Instead of feeling like a pleasant visit, it can sometimes feel like an unexpected roommate has moved in. This sudden change can be a big adjustment for introverts, who crave — and need — downtime to relax, recharge, and simply be alone with their thoughts. After all, the holidays are already filled with activities and socializing. When someone is constantly around in your space, finding time to decompress can feel almost impossible.
There’s also the added pressure of hosting. Introverts may feel obligated to make plans, entertain their guests, and ensure everyone is comfortable — all of which require energy. On top of that, we often feel the need to stay “on” for the duration of their visit, leaving little room for retreating into our introvert havens. This can lead to feelings of guilt: guilt for wanting — and needing — time to recharge, and guilt for not being fully present with our loved ones. At the same time, we feel depleted by not getting the alone time we so deeply need.
This internal conflict can be emotionally draining in itself. And once the visit is over and things return to normal, introverts often find they need time to recover. The constant socializing and hosting can leave us with a hefty introvert hangover that takes a while to shake off.
3. Holiday shopping and the crowds everywhere
Malls, shopping centers, and stores during the holidays can feel dreadful for anyone — but for introverts, those feelings of dread can be magnified. The crowds, the chaos, and the constant buzz of activity can feel overwhelming, as though your personal space is being invaded by the hustle and bustle of the season. For introverts who are sensitive to others’ energies and emotions, the stressful, anxious vibes of other shoppers can feel especially draining. It’s far from a relaxing experience!
On top of the crowded spaces, the thought of purchasing gifts for loved ones can create its own kind of stress. As introverts, we tend to approach life with depth, and this often extends to our gift-giving. For example, a gift card might feel too impersonal — like the small talk of gift-giving. Instead, we aim to find thoughtful, meaningful presents that reflect how much we care about the recipient. While this intention is admirable, it can make the process even more stressful as we search for the “perfect” gift, all while dealing with the chaos of holiday shopping.
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4. All the feels
The anticipation of the holiday season — and everything it entails for introverts — can stir up feelings of stress, anxiety, and even sadness before the season officially begins. These emotions aren’t always easy to sit with, and sometimes it’s the feelings these events evoke that you dread more than the events themselves. Your inner dialogue might sound something like: “I can’t wait until this is over.” “What’s my exit plan going to be at this event?” “One down, three to go.” or “I’m so tired; I just want some alone time.”
Introverts, it’s important to validate what you’re feeling. The demands of the holiday season can be draining, and it’s okay to acknowledge the exhaustion and stress. Recognizing and honoring your emotions is a healthy first step in taking care of yourself during this busy time.
So, where can you set boundaries as a form of self-care? Consider limiting the number of guests you host, stepping outside for a breath of fresh air when you feel overwhelmed, setting time limits for shopping or social events, and saying “no” to commitments that feel more like obligations than joys.
Above all, give yourself grace. You don’t have to be perfect — and you certainly don’t have to do it all. Taking small steps to protect your energy can make the holiday season feel more manageable and, hopefully, more enjoyable.
Give Yourself the Gift of Recharge Time
A final message to my fellow introverts: It’s okay to feel some dread about the holiday season, even when it seems like everyone else is celebrating with joy all month long. You’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed or needing alone time — so many other introverts share these experiences.
Remember, it’s essential to carve out self-care time during the holiday season. The holidays are about giving and receiving, so don’t forget to give yourself the gift of some much-needed TLC and recharge time, too. Taking care of your energy is just as important as anything else on your holiday to-do list. 
