What Does an Autistic Meltdown Feel Like: From an Autistic Individual

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Understanding what an autistic person experiences during a meltdown reveals much about fostering empathy and providing encouragement.

An autistic meltdown is something totally different from temper tantrums or a fit of anger, caused by such factors as sensory overload, stress, or change in routine.

Let’s take a detailed look at what an autistic meltdown actually feels like from studies and my vivid personal experiences.

Before we start, you can check our free guide on how to manage autistic meltdowns here: 

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Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

What is an autistic meltdown?

An autistic meltdown is a very intense behavioral response to a situation that causes one to feel overwhelmed. It is different from a tantrum because people who have tantrums are often more goal-motivated.

Meltdowns happen when there is a build-up of sensory overload, stress, or a big change in routine when control is lost. This often results in a situation that ensures great exhaustion and distress.

Identifying triggers and knowing the early warning signs can help better identify and manage meltdowns.

What does an autistic meltdown feel like?

Autistic meltdowns can feel highly distressing and overwhelming. Here are some of the most common experiences.

Sensory overload

Many autistic children and adults communicate that meltdowns are, first and foremost, an “overwhelm of the senses.”

Can you imagine your senses becoming considerably acute all of a sudden? Bright lights, loud sounds, and even the lightest pressure could be quite painful.

This overwhelming sensory input can create feelings of entrapment or suffocation, which ensures difficulty communicating and thinking clearly.

Emotional turmoil

Regarding emotions, a meltdown feels like a storm of anxiety, frustration, and helplessness. At the root of things is the sense of being out of control, where one is too emotional to reason with or calm down.

Little boy crying and covering his face https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/what-does-autistic-meltdown-feel-like/

This can be very frightening, both for the autistic person experiencing it and for others who may be present.

Physical responses

Physically, meltdowns can look like shaking, crying, and even self-harm. Some bodily responses include a racing heartbeat, sweating, and a sense of ultra fatigue. Other people can feel nauseous or dizzy.

For example, there were times in elementary school when peers treated me poorly enough that I would cry non-stop for at least an hour after the incidents.

These incidents didn’t only make me feel emotionally unwell. They made me feel physically off, too.

What does an autistic meltdown look like?

Most people may understand autistic meltdown behavior as a sudden onset of crying or screaming, or it can be something physical like hitting or throwing things.

It is crucial to understand, however, that these are certainly not behaviors of purposeful defiance or that this means the person wants to lose control. They are acts that reflect an overwhelming personal experience.

Knowing the behavior and being able to recognize the signs can help you and the person with support and coping strategies quickly and appropriately.

My most vivid meltdown memory occurred when I was five.

I was at a restaurant one day with my family while relatives were visiting, and I could not stand the smell of the place. I was wailing loudly enough that we ended the outing.

Aftermath of an autistic meltdown

The aftermath of autistic meltdowns is as difficult as the meltdown itself. It can drain people emotionally and physically.

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The person might feel embarrassed, anxious, or even depressed. When this happens, it is important to practice self-care.

Gentle activities, a quiet space, and patience can help one recover. For example, I have found that a small walk in a park (right by my house) can help calm the senses.

How can you help autistic individuals experiencing a meltdown?

Most of the time, helping an autistic person during a meltdown requires patience, understanding, and calm.

Following are some common coping strategies:

  • Provide a safe environment: Make sure the individual is in a safe environment where they cannot harm themselves or others.
  • Reduce sensory input: Incorporate sensory aids such as light dimming, calming music, a weighted blanket, noise reduction, and minimal physical contact unless physical contact feels comforting to the individual.
  • Stay calm: Your calm demeanor will help de-escalate them. Never yell at them or show frustration.
  • Offer reassurance: Gentle, soothing words may provide comfort. Let them know that it’s okay to feel what they are feeling. You can also talk about what happened if the person is comfortable.
  • Follow a plan: Should you have a pre-set plan on how to engage in a meltdown, stick to it. The presence of consistency creates feelings of safety. Deep breathing can work very well.

Don’t be afraid to seek help

If you or your loved one has autism meltdowns, more often than not, it helps to seek professional advice on how to prevent them. Therapists and counselors offer tips and a support system that can help reduce the frequency and severity of meltdowns.

A dad and his son talking to a therapist https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/what-does-autistic-meltdown-feel-like/

Sharing information and raising awareness can also help create a more understanding and supportive world for autistic people. There may be challenges here and there, but with a great support system, you will make the most of the most difficult scenarios.

FAQs

Q: What are the symptoms of an autistic meltdown?

A: These come with very strong emotional outbursts, physical reactions like shaking or crying, and behaviors like hitting and throwing things.

Q: What are the stages of an autistic meltdown?

A: There will be a phase of stress build-up, a phase where there are very high reactions to things, and a recovery phase. After that, one will be left very drained and tired.

Q: How long does an autistic meltdown last?

A: The length ranges from minutes to hours, depending on the state of the triggers an individual faces and the kind of support they receive.

Q: What happens in the brain during an autism meltdown?

A: During a meltdown, the brain is overly pressurized with tensions and sensory input, which becomes difficult to handle. Hence, there is a flight response.

Q: Can an autistic meltdown be silent?

A: Yes, some meltdowns are silent with no apparent outbursts but still involve very intense internal distress, making them not as obvious.

References

From Anxiety to Meltdown: How Individuals on the Autism Spectrum Deal with Anxiety, Experience Meltdowns, Manifest Tantrums, and How You Can Intervene Effectively https://books.google.hr/books?hl=en&lr=&id=7A6DvDthpqYC&oi=fnd&pg=PA11&dq=autistic+meltdown+experience&ots=ARZlc5ws1f&sig=BOHvtRe46DlnlVnYE72qHXlknAM&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q=autistic%20meltdown%20experience&f=false 

Lachance, K. (2024), Managing the meltdown: Supporting autistic youth through episodes. The Brown University Child and Adolescent Behavior Letter, 40: 1-4. https://doi.org/10.1002/cbl.30763 

Lewis LF, Stevens K. The lived experience of meltdowns for autistic adults. Autism. 2023 Aug;27(6):1817-1825. doi: 10.1177/13623613221145783. Epub 2023 Jan 11. PMID: 36632658. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36632658/ 

Montaque I, Dallos R, McKenzie B. “It feels like something difficult is coming back to haunt me”: An exploration of ‘meltdowns’ associated with autistic spectrum disorder from a parental perspective. Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry. 2018;23(1):125-139. doi:10.1177/1359104517730114 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1359104517730114 

What I Wish You Knew: Insights on Burnout, Inertia, Meltdown, and Shutdown From Autistic Youth https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.741421/full 

Yalim, T., & Mohamed, S. (2023). Meltdown in Autism: Challenges and Support Needed for Parents of Children with Autism. International Journal of Academic Research in Progressive Education and Development, 12(1), 850–876. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Teassy-Yalim/publication/367986859_Meltdown_in_Autism_Challenges_and_Support_Needed_for_Parents_of_Children_with_Autism/links/63f0cbd551d7af054036d803/Meltdown-in-Autism-Challenges-and-Support-Needed-for-Parents-of-Children-with-Autism.pdf 

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