𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝗻’𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱 “𝗟𝗮𝗿𝗿𝘆.”
I met Larry because he attended the day camp I was running at the school where I worked. Coincidentally, he lived in our neighborhood, and he and my son became friends as they were a year apart in age.
Larry would make a lot of “noise” (my term for arguing or complaining) when faced with a non-preferred task. He resorted to learned helplessness to get adults to do things he could do independently. He had a propensity to be inflexible and struggled with perspective-taking (understanding how he’s coming across to others.)
Larry’s parents were wonderful people who decided not to respond to his noise or accommodate his learned helplessness or inflexibility. They required him to persevere through non-preferred tasks, no matter how much he whined or complained. Most importantly, they did so with “affective calmness” (staying calm when you don’t feel calm inside).
Despite his significant learning disabilities, Larry was able to complete a two-year program at a community college. Today, Larry works for a small company that optimizes websites.
I attribute Larry’s success as a young adult to his parent’s understanding that they could not accommodate his “noise,” learned helplessness, or inflexibility. They did not protect him from experiencing temporary distress when something was challenging or non-preferred. They gave him ample independence when he was younger despite his learning challenges.
Larry’s parents set him up for success and to be employable, which should be every parent’s long-term goal for their child.
Many parents of kids with ADHD are not doing this because they are misled by lousy advice designed to make them feel good at the expense of helping their child reach their full potential.
Suppose you want to help your child become an independent, employable young adult who feels good about themselves. In that case, the content here, at the ADHD Dude YouTube channel and membership site, will help you reach that goal.
ADHD Dude content is designed to help you help your child achieve the same success as Larry. Learn more at
adhddude.com
