Anxiety still pops up every day, even if there appears to be no reason as to why. It’s something I’ve always experienced which has often made me feel different but as I’ve grown older, it’s become apparent to me that many other people also feel this way. Their anxiety peaks from time to time and becomes all-consuming as mine does. Realising that it’s a common experience has been helpful for me and reminds me that I’m not so different after all.
But that comfort has only gone so far. Over the years I’ve tried several different ways of dealing with anxiety. Not a lot has worked well for me except for remembering some particular calming thoughts that form my philosophy on life. When I feel overwhelmed by anxiety, I meditate on these calming thoughts that help me regain some perspective when my mind wants to run away.
It is my philosophy that has helped me regain some sense of control of my thoughts when I begin to feel anxious.
It’s important for me to point out that I’m talking about day-to-day anxiety that can sometimes spin out of control due to rumination, not a serious anxiety disorder. I’m not a healthcare professional, just someone who is trying to develop healthy habits so I can hopefully live side by side with anxiety so it doesn’t dictate and interfere with my daily routines too much.
So with that said, here are the 5 calming thoughts for anxiety I meditate on to regain some perspective.
1. The acceptance of being an animal
With a lot of structure, safety and privileges in modern life, it’s easy to forget that we are still animals. Whilst we craft impressive technology, wear fancy clothes and build secure homes that protect us from the outside world, nothing will change the fact that you and I are apes, very smart apes.
Therefore, no matter how much I learn and grow, I will always be bound by the fact that I will feel the full range of emotions an animal will. I’m going to instinctively feel like reacting in anger if I feel someone has been unfair or rude to me, I’m going to want to react with sadness if I see something upsetting and I’m going to be anxious from time to time.
As an animal, I have emotions built in that are there to protect me and help me function in the world. There is an emotional ego that helps to thrust me forward yet sometimes makes me envious and anxious.
I am a civilised human being but there will always be a wild animal inside of me with desires and motivations.
Accepting this has been a calming thought for anxiety. It reminds me that I don’t have to be perfect. Furthermore, it reminds me that “perfect” doesn’t exist. When all is said and done…I’m a wild animal and always will be. Part of the daily challenge is calming that ego down and not being mindlessly led by it and that includes anxiety.
2. The only thing I know is that I know nothing
Socrates once said…
The only thing I know is that I know nothing.
He was referring to the fact that there is always more to learn in life, even when you feel as if you’ve got things mostly figured out. I often feel anxious when I’ve made a mistake but a calming thought for anxiety I use is this: because I’m human, I’m going to make mistakes. The idea of perfect isn’t real.
The things I do know are superficial. Sure, I know how to drive a car, I know how to write a blog post and I know how to make a Sunday dinner. But at the end of it all, I have no idea why I am here. None of us do. We are simply trying to do the best we can and to live the best kind of lives that we can with the information that is available to us.
Once again, it is my ego that tries to remind me that I know everything I need to know. But I’m a project that’s constantly learning so I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. I don’t know why I am walking around on this rock just as no one else does. What we think we know is what we have designed. All I can do is try and do my best. If it is still not good enough, so be it. I’ll just try and pick myself up and go again.
You were not made to be perfect.
3. How much has happened before me
How much has happened before me that is now lost to time? My current life feels like it’s the most important period right now because that’s all I can perceive through my own eyes and mind. But how many like me have come before me with the same fears and anxieties that are no longer here?
When you think about the past 100 years you can pick out some pretty important events that have helped to shape our modern world. But when you go further back, it can be hard to relate to the illustrated faces you see in history books. But there were many people like you and me with the same worries and troubles. There were billions of people throughout the history of this earth who struggled with the same thoughts and feelings.
Sure their lives were different in terms of their surroundings and beliefs but they were human beings just like us. With so many lives that we can’t trace back to, it’s easy to forget there have been so many souls that have struggled with anxiety in similar ways to people today.
And we don’t remember them yet they existed just the same as you and I do now.
I feel unique because I am the only one that can perceive my existence but I am not so unique in the emotions I feel. Again, I am forever tied to my human emotions and one day my life will be lost to time too.
This is one of my calming thoughts because it reminds me that anxiety is not unique to me.
4. It is what I say it is
Marcus Aurelius once said…
Today I escaped anxiety, or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions – not outside.
When you’re amid anxiety it’s hard to see a different perspective. But one calming thought I remind myself of is the above. Nothing is anything. We only perceive things as good or bad. Things on their own are nothing. They mean nothing on their own without someone perceiving them as good or bad.
Sure, there are things that are arguably “good” or “bad”, but what really matters is how we choose to perceive them as individuals. For example, someone might see their car getting a small scratch as an extremely bad thing that they get upset very about. However, someone else might perceive this as a minor inconvenience that can be easily fixed.
So it is how you perceive things that really counts. And you might think you don’t have the choice to decide. But I think you do. As a human being, you can learn to cope with things much better than a chimp can. Where a chimp is driven by pure instinct, we can choose to pause and decide how we want to react to something.
This has been an important turning point for me. Of course, this isn’t an easy thing to achieve but through the habit of taking a moment to pause and think about how you want to perceive something, you have the option to stay much calmer.
My anxiety is within me, in the way that I think about things. If I choose to think about things in a more positive light, I can usually find myself feeling less anxious.
5. There will be things outside of my control
Epictetus once said…
“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control.”
There are so many things in life that can make you anxious from relationships, money, health, etc. One calming thought that helps me with perspective is to remember that there will always be things that are outside of my control. Therefore, I should not concern myself so much with them and only concentrate on the things that I can control.
For example, I cannot control what people think of me, therefore, it is not worth spending my time trying to get them to perceive me in a certain way. However, I can control how I behave and act around other people. If they still think less of me when I carry myself well, it does not matter.
I can be anxious about my health but there are only certain things I can control. I cannot control my genes for example but I can control how much exercise I do and the kinds of foods I eat. If I exercise regularly and eat well, I can somewhat control my weight and health.
Accepting that which you cannot control is difficult but if you can learn to do it you can rid yourself of much anxiety. Holding onto the hope of control is exhausting and stressful. Accepting you are limited is freeing.
When I feel myself experiencing anxiety, I do the things I can control like exercise, cleaning, and writing.
Wrapping it all up
Anxiety is a difficult emotion to deal with, especially when it comes in waves. But I think it can help to remember these thoughts. You are an animal that is bound to emotions, there are certain things outside of your control, and you can choose how you react to things more than you know, it’s okay not to know everything and you are not the only one that experiences these feelings.
Take a moment to breathe and pause when you begin to feel anxious. You are okay and the feeling will pass. Try to think about these points and notice if you feel calmer.
Above all else, make sure you show yourself compassion because you deserve it.
Anxiety Affirmation Cards
Check out these printable anxiety affirmation cards to help you cope when you’re stressed.
