So, I have this bad habit. I leave my email open on my computer. This means I am frequently checking my email. When faced with writer’s block, I check my email. Any time I open my computer, I check my email. When I am bored, I check my email. I am constantly checking my email. This hurts my productivity. Is this blog post a declaration that I will check my email less? Well, no. I am still probably going to check my email quite a bit, but I think being aware of how often I do it is creating a new awareness for me. I want to be more aware of how I use my time and how various tasks either drain my energy or re-energize me. In short, I want to get off auto-pilot and be more in control of my life. Granted, there are plenty of things in life that are beyond my control, but there are plenty of things I can control. I am reminded of the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
How do we do this? How do we recognize what is in our control and let go of the things we cannot control? I think it goes back to pausing and thinking about the situation rationally. Easier said than done, I know. However, if we catch ourselves early enough we can look at the situation and ask, “What is in my control here?” Quite often, the only thing in our control is how we respond and our own actions. This is frustrating, but it is true.
So, by pausing, we create an opportunity to ask what is going on, how we would like to respond, and what we can do. In doing this, we can get off auto-pilot and take control of our life. So, I invite everyone reading this to pause more. Yes, this is hard for those of us with ADHD, but it is necessary. If we are not actively looking at our life and how we spend our time, we slip into auto-pilot. I know I spend too much time watching tv, but I am too stuck in auto-pilot to make a change. I need a pattern interrupt.
After working all day, I just want to sit on the couch and watch tv. However, there are other things I can do. One thing I would like to do more is read. I tend to store my books in the same place all the time, and I never really see them. They have blended into the background. If I were to store them in places where I will see them more, I would be more likely to read. The other thing I can do is remind myself of the different places my mind can go if I read more. I tend to watch the same tv shows over and over again. However, I rarely read a book twice. While there is comfort in revisiting the same tv shows over and over again, I can go to new places and engage my brain more by visiting other stories. My ADHD brain needs engagement, and I do not get enough of it by doing the same things all the time. In short, I will thrive if I switch things up.And, here’s the kicker: ADHD brains love new things. Why am I not indulging in stories I have never read or seen before? I love a good mystery, but I do not often read Agatha Christie. I would like to read her more, but I don’t.
It’s not even about reading. It’s about exposing myself to the unordinary. I have routines, but I rarely escape them. My entertainment choices are just part of the issue. I began this blog by talking about checking my email all the time. What if I were to do something different? Can I switch things up in my routine? Yes. Will I? I do not know. So, the answer to the early question about what can I change is: Plenty.
How will I change? The first step is awareness, and I have that. Next, I need to choose the different. That will be difficult for me, but it is not impossible. Here is hoping you, dear reader, and I get off auto-pilot and start taking control of our lives.
