By Ron Sandison
My tone ‘on social media’ ranges from humorous to severe, to indignant to goofy, however what stays the identical is my ardour to get my message throughout and dedication to understanding extra about autistic individuals.
Paige Layle
I loved interviewing creator Paige Layle and was refreshed by her honesty, humor, and autistic tales. In March 2020, Paige started sharing on social media her challenges with ADHD and autism. She rapidly attracted 2.7M TikTok and 156k Instagram followers and 177K subscribers on YouTube. 4 years later she celebrating the discharge of her first e book However Everybody Feels This Approach: How an Autism Prognosis Saved My Life. Paige’s perception offers readability and permits us perceive the challenges autistic feminine’s expertise.
1. What was your childhood like rising up in Kawartha Lakes, Canada?
Not gonna lie, it was lonely a variety of the time. I used to be alone usually. It took a motorcycle experience to get to the subsequent home down the street, and none of them anyplace close to my home had children my age. It was nice to have just a little brother to hang around with, however he would hang around with our father exterior loads as we obtained older, and can be residence much less and fewer as he made extra associates and had extra enjoyable alternatives with them. It was nice to have some property to have the ability to journey in and work together with, and having a canine and a cat rising up.
2. As a baby what had been a few of your enthusiasms and passions?
I’ve all the time had an affinity for kids and animals. I’m fairly good with them and so they like me loads. From canine and cats, to bugs and frogs and birds and cows. I tutored children in class, babysat for a lot of pretty households, volunteered at camps for teenagers each summer season since I used to be eleven, and I even spent half of my grade eleven yr in a grade one classroom as a lecturers assistant, serving to the children learn to learn. Now, I work half time as a dance instructor, which I feel is essentially the most fulfilling work. I get to observe the identical children develop and be taught and progress over time. I’m so fortunate and grateful to be somebody my dancers can belief and open up to as a mentor all through their rising years.
Once I was little (and even now to be sincere), I awakened each morning with an urge to make and draw, construct, paint, assemble, and invent. I made little homes out of paper, dioramas with cardboard bins and greenback retailer collectible figurines, blankets out of scrap items of cloth, wallets out of Kool-Support jammer packages and I bought them for {dollars} to children in school. I used to be a hustler since a younger age! (I used to be VERY insistent with my Swear Jar Guidelines- 25¢ per swear, besides the F bomb and the C bomb had been $1. If mine and my brother’s younger ears needed to hear it, I demanded compensation.) I beloved to sing and dance and carry out. I used to be engaged in theatre because the age of six, as I discuss extra in my e book. I journaled usually and expressed myself by means of inventive means. I drew, though I used to be by no means all that good at it.
3. What had been some challenges you skilled as a baby with socializing and the way did you adapt to those challenges?
I feel in regard to social challenges, I wasn’t given sufficient consideration as a baby from my caregivers and had a tough time feeling protected in any setting, which result in fixed excessive
nervousness. A few of the nervousness might have been relieved in an setting the place my nervous system felt protected, however sadly that’s a part of my incapacity; it’s SO HARD for my nervous system to really feel protected, for me to entry my increased considering mind, and get out of combat/flight/freeze survival mind.
It’s bizarre if you’re confused and suicidal as a child. Most different children can’t relate to you more often than not, and those that do by no means talked about it once I was rising up. That’s altering. I didn’t know what a wholesome relationship with others appeared like and it was a very long time earlier than I discovered individuals who really preferred and embraced me and beloved me. (Which solely got here after I began being true to myself.) I wasn’t just like the others, and I didn’t need to be extra like them, as a result of they had been boring in comparison with what I had occurring. I feel if I had extra neurodivergent associates, and at a younger age identified we had been neurodivergent that may’ve made for simpler friendships.
4. What had been the circumstances resulting in your autism analysis?
I accepted defeat to my depressing, disturbing life and I attempted to kill myself. I did a couple of instances, however I all the time ended up selecting up the items myself afterward. It simply obtained tremendous severe and I couldn’t take it- feeling helpless. That basically obtained my physician’s consideration once I instructed him, and he sprang into gear getting me a referral to a baby psychiatrist.
I used to be suicidal since I used to be a younger lady and had spoken with my physician dozens of instances about my psychological well being, but it surely wasn’t till I really made energetic steps in direction of suicide that
something was finished. Which was not okay and never honest. I spoke to the psychiatrist months later and was recognized there. For extra on my analysis course of and what the physician mentioned, you’ll find a complete CHAPTER on it in my new e book However Everybody Feels This Approach: How An Autism Prognosis Saved My Life.
5. How has an autism analysis as an grownup remodel your life for the higher?
With an autism analysis and being an grownup, I do know that I can transfer ahead with my life otherwise than how I used to be raised, accommodating myself and taking good care of myself and loving myself. I do know who I’m and what I would like and I don’t deny that for myself. I maintain myself like I deserved to have been taken care of all my life, which is an influence you get solely from surviving childhood and viewing it on the surface as an grownup.
I actually don’t assume I’d be alive if I didn’t have my autism analysis. I didn’t plan to make it to maturity, as a result of I didn’t see it getting any higher. Even when life did get higher, it was SO HARD on the time, that it barely even mattered. My autism analysis was hope. Lastly, I noticed a model of me who was older than me. I imagined what she appeared like and what she did and who she beloved, and I knew it might be potential.
6. I name my sensory points my “honey badger” moments, do you will have any sensory points? If that’s the case what are they and the way do you stop sensory overloads?
Completely. I’ve tons. I feel it could be inconceivable to record all of them, and I’m certain there are tons I’ve that I don’t even know of but. First, I’ll discuss stopping overloads.
Take frequent breaks. I attempt to take as many breaks as I would like and alter my setting nevertheless I would like. Generally I’m simply irritated and indignant, and I cease what I’m doing and take note of my physique: what’s the issue? Oh, my hair is touching my again, there are too many sounds occurring without delay, my fingers and ft are freezing and I haven’t gone to the lavatory in 8 hours. Then I’ll maintain myself and alter what’s occurring; I’ll put my hair up, possibly put music on or earplugs in or depart altogether, I’ll eat some meals and transfer round and put a sweater on, and go to the lavatory.
I attempt to set myself up for achievement by anticipating what would trouble me and altering it into one thing that wouldn’t trouble me or would trouble me much less. Sound- noise. Automobiles driving by. Clanging dishes. Scraping dishes. The furnace. The fridge. The individuals speaking. The birds. It’s all an excessive amount of. I’ve earplugs and headphones all the time to vary my noise setting.
Tactile, I solely put on garments that I can simply, comfortably and flexibly transfer round in with out restriction and with out it transferring round on my physique. I don’t like some materials, like velvet, sequins, cotton or wool. I don’t like issues touching my neck. Being moist. Folks touching me. I don’t like seams, bras, being barefoot, sneakers, hats, masks, washing dishes and showering.
When I’m sick, I really feel like I might flip into The Hulk at any second when I’m not distracted (sleeping) from how uncomfortable my physique feels. The lack of nostril utilization has me kicking and punching the mattress, it’s so uncomfortable and insufferable. The achy muscular tissues, the snot in your face from blowing your nostril and the rash you get below your nostril from blowing it a lot, the tiredness and incapability to partake in your day by day duties, the way in which you scent and may’t even rise up, how one can’t eat your meals you need… being sick is terrible. I hate it.
I’m very delicate with meals and typically can’t even get myself to abdomen one thing. Meals is troublesome. I attempt to have protected meals all the time stocked or shut by, and I sometimes have one protected meals per restaurant, simply in case, so I’m protected anyplace we go. (Small city issues.)
7. What are the three stuff you like greatest about being autistic?
1. My reminiscence. Most questions individuals have are the random issues I made a decision to be aware of and memorize. I’ve so many helpful info (and ineffective but in addition attention-grabbing.)
2. My capacity to attach the dots and discover the patterns. It baffles me what individuals discover shocking as a result of when individuals aren’t altering the sample, they’re tremendous predictable.
3. My ardour. Nobody works tougher than me at one thing I like.
8. What recommendation would you give to a younger autistic grownup battling employment?
Ya man, I’m sorry. Employment is difficult. Most autistic individuals aren’t employed. It’s troublesome as a result of I don’t need to essentially give recommendation to assist adhere to the system we’ve now, trigger the system we’ve now isn’t honest and isn’t sustainable (and even barely relevant) to autistic individuals. It’s powerful out right here and a variety of jobs aren’t appropriate for us. It’s going to be totally different for everybody; however personally the very best factor for me was to begin my very own enterprise, make my very own guidelines and do what I would like day by day. I like to recommend another person serving to with the entire books and the group and the order of all of it, however that is the place I’ve discovered essentially the most success and success with work.
Observe your ardour. There are such a lot of bizarre trades on the market, you don’t even know. They usually’re cool and require barely any education and may undoubtedly get you by. It is dependent upon what’s accessible to every particular person, however if you wish to be employed I like to recommend doing a commerce in an setting that you just like!
9. What challenges have you ever skilled in relationship? And what three relationship ideas would you share with younger adults on the spectrum?
I’ve all the time had a difficulty with individuals considering I’m flirting with them once I’m actually not attempting to be. I’ve had concern with individuals liking me for the way I look however not for who I’m, and truly disliking who I’m. I feel these are additionally the unlucky penalties of being a girl as we speak, and the autism simply exacerbated the extent of the variations. I used to be with some fairly scummy individuals who simply manipulated me.
1. Be your self, and in the event that they don’t such as you for who you’re, transfer on and discover who does. You’re loveable as you’re.
2. Watch out. Some individuals are gonna know you’re susceptible and need to reap the benefits of that. Don’t depart your self and not using a method out, lookup on wholesome boundaries and emotional maturity so you understand what to look out for, and belief your intestine.
3. It’s essential maintain transferring ahead and deal with your self, not your ex. Be pleased about what that relationship taught you, and transfer on. I do know a variety of autistic individuals can battle with limerence so I simply needed so as to add this one in there too.
10. What are some cool qualities individuals with autism can convey to the office?
1. Very more likely to comply with all the principles by the e book, flawlessly each time
2. Actually pushed to performing that job, or finishing that job, and method much less distracted by socializing doing so.
3. Actually good at discovering patterns! Determining what’s improper, seeing why one thing hasn’t been working, viewing an issue in an entire totally different perspective
4. Unmatchable ardour.
5. Innovation! At all times attempting to make it work quicker, simpler, extra effectively.
11. Share a humorous story out of your life?
Talking of the Swear Jar,
I used to be very persistent with it as I used to be taught swearing was improper, and I felt it was improper to swear in entrance of a child, so every time an grownup swore in my residence in my presence I introduced out the jar and pushed for his or her cash. They ALWAYS ended up paying me. Or possibly my mother simply gave me no matter I used to be owed on the finish. (In fact I saved a complete, per particular person.) It was Christmas and an uncle of mine was coming to our residence for dinner. We hadn’t seen him shortly and had been very excited. I excitedly held my Swear Jar, able to catch him and make some financial institution, as a result of this uncle was a potty mouth. Nicely, he got here within the door that evening, sat down on the desk, handed me a $20 invoice and mentioned “That covers me for tonight.” I took the invoice and with a smile mentioned, “Sure, it does!” Then I satisfied the opposite adults to do the identical so I wouldn’t trouble them if I heard them swear, too (as I used to be VERY annoying within the perspective of an grownup.) That’s the evening my swear jar and my household made me $200 bucks.
12. Who’re a few of your favourite autistic advocates?
A few of my favourite autistic advocates are Ellie Middleton, Chloe Hayden, Daniel Jones, Morgan Foley, Nicole Parish, Kaelynn Partlow and Sweet Courn.
13. What impressed you to jot down However Everybody Feels This Approach: How an Autism Prognosis Saved My Life?
I’ve had a pen and paper on me since I can bear in mind, which is fairly far. I’ve been writing my experiences out for myself all these years, and it wasn’t till my social media channels gained reputation that I believed others would possibly profit from listening to about this expertise.
I get the identical questions over and over, questions I’ve answered OVER and OVER once more, however they’re misplaced within the sea of movies I’ve created. I needed one full, strong unit of data that contained what l thought was my most necessary info that might be used as a useful resource. It was one other step to reaching extra individuals and making my story accessible to assist individuals. Even when it’s only one particular person. That one particular person might’ve been me.
14. Reflecting upon your life whereas writing your e book, what classes did you be taught?
I realized that my childhood was really sadder than I believed it was and the emotional neglect I acquired in my childhood exacerbated my harder autism traits, and I might have had a neater time with life if I had realized about feelings and emotional regulation. I realized that studying books is like trying into the minds of different individuals and their lives and experiences, and that’s what information is, and that’s what being human is all about.
15. Are you planning a e book tour? What are some locations you’d love to talk?
Undetermined, however very open to it! I’d love to talk throughout Canada and the US, in addition to all over the place within the UK! Ideally, the e book will likely be picked up by different publishing corporations in different international locations (I’m speaking to you particularly Australia) and in different languages as effectively, and I’d prefer to make it to these locations. There’s a increased focus of my followers in Chicago, New York Metropolis, Toronto, Brisbane, Sydney, Dallas, Houston, Los Angeles and Melbourne, so I’d prefer to hit these cities for certain!
16. You could have 2.7 million followers on Tik Tok, how did you construct your social media platform?
I don’t even know! I didn’t imply to. It was all very quick. I simply spoke and posted typically and out of nowhere, a few of them obtained common. That’s the troublesome factor with TikTok you possibly can’t actually predict what’s going to explode. The algorithm is in every single place and it isn’t constant. It feels just like the lottery. TikTok offers no financial worth to me, so I made a decision to make longer movies and put up them to YouTube. I shout out my YouTube on TikTok as a result of watching these movies is free for others, useful, and supporting me. I don’t fear about rising my platform and getting greater, as a result of individuals realizing me really is horrifying to me. I simply put up what I would like, now, which adjustments day by day, as I do.
17. What are some methods you will have used your social media to advocate for the autism group?
I began advocating for autism on TikTok, and I’ve been making movies on there and YouTube for 4 years now. I discuss my experiences, my ideas and emotions, patterns that I can acknowledge and questions I’ve. My tone ranges from humorous to severe, to indignant to goofy, however what stays the identical is my ardour to get my message throughout and dedication to understanding extra about autistic individuals.
18. Do you will have any pets or emotional assist pets?
Sure! I’ve 4 pets; 2 canine and a couple of cats. My canine are named Macey (German Shepherd) and Medusa (Noodle) (Newfoundland Poodle). The cats are Mikado and Marlin. Names are inconceivable to slender down, so I’ve a rule that helps me be capable to title my animal. Macey educated as a service canine for nearly a yr, but it surely was simply not suited to her excessive vitality and athleticism. It’s okay, ‘trigger she’s a very good lady. They’re all pretty and make me really feel like life is necessary.
19. What are some present undertaking you’re engaged on?
At present I’m engaged on publicity for my new e book, so I’ll be round, hopefully, doing talks and interviews and internet hosting meet and greets. Then later this yr, I’m really going to be filming a film! I can’t share an excessive amount of about it (and I haven’t mentioned ANYTHING to my socials or something in any respect), however all I can say is it’s filming in 2024 and its going to be superior, and I’ve a variety of memorizing to do! Phrases can’t describe how thrilled I’m to be engaged on it, and I have to depart you patiently a ready to listen to extra info.
20. How can individuals attain out to you for a talking or e book signing occasion?
In regard to something e book associated, one can attain out to my publicity supervisor, Lauren lauren.rosenthal@hbgusa.com. For different inquiries resembling social media sponsorships and speech alternatives, contact mgmt@paigelayle.ca.
Paige Layle Biography
Recognized with Autism Spectrum Dysfunction on the age of 15, Paige Layle is an advocate and influencer for a greater understanding of autism on social media. Paige started making movies in response to a degrading put up about autistic individuals, initially making a 4 half sequence to deal with frequent misconceptions about autism. Now in her twenties, Paige is an autism acceptance activist on YouTube and TikTok and has 2.7 million followers on TikTok. Paige additionally works part-time as a dance instructor and shares her residence in Kawartha Lakes, Canada along with her canine, Macey and Medusa and cats, Mikado and Marlin.
She narrated the Audible Authentic American Lady by Wendy Walker, “an on the spot #1 Audible bestseller.”
Amazon E book Hyperlink to However Each Feels This Approach: How an Autism Prognosis Saved
My Life: https://www.amazon.com/However-Everybody-Feels-This-Approach/dp/0306831252
TitTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@paigelayle?lang=en
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@realpaigelayle
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paigelayle/?hl=en
Paige Prime TitTok Movies:
Room Service: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMMRcVKMU/
Autism in Ladies: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMMRcCLFj/
Actually Sizzling: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMMRcsVej/
Ron Sandison works full time within the medical discipline and is a professor of theology at Future College of Ministry. He’s an advisory board member of Autism Society Religion Initiative of Autism Society of America. Sandison has a Grasp of Divinity from Oral Roberts College and is the creator of A Mum or dad’s Information to Autism: Sensible Recommendation. Biblical Knowledge, revealed by Charisma Home and Thought, Selection, Motion. Ron has memorized over 10,000 Scriptures together with 22 full books of the New Testomony and over 5,000 quotes. Ron’s third e book Views from the Spectrum was launched in Might 2021.
Ron often visitor speaks at faculties, conferences, autism facilities, and church buildings. Ron and his spouse, Kristen, reside in Rochester Hills, MI, with a child daughter, Makayla Marie born on March 20, 2016.
You may contact Ron at his web site www.spectruminclusion.com or e-mail him at sandison456@hotmail.com
