June 20, 2024 – The Wandering Introvert

Date:


I am on the Board of Directors for a local organization. In fact, I’m part of the Executive Committee; I have been for years. We have a shared Google Drive, which I have access to and for which I’ve asked for clarification a couple of times around how to properly use it. 

And the embarrassing thing is that I still don’t know what I’m doing. 

A few months ago, one of our staff members asked if any of the new members of the Board would like to set up a tour of the Google Drive, go over procedures, etc. I have no idea if they took her up on that; I am not a new member and so rather than admitting that I struggle with it every month, I stayed silent. 

This, friends, is ridiculous. I wonder why we do this, why we don’t just admit that something is hard. There’s a lot that I do well. I don’t think I’m someone who can’t manage technology, and I don’t really chide myself for not being able to access it the way that I want to. I do, however, chide myself for not asking for help. 

Maybe that’s my goal today, to flip that on its head and figure out what I need to know. 

In other news, lately I have been going to the local Humane Society to volunteer, visiting and walking dogs, and it’s my favorite new thing. I really love animals, but never thought I’d be able to volunteer at a shelter because it’s just painful to see them not getting what they need; to admit that they won’t all have homes or people who adore them. 

Through her own volunteering, though, my partner’s teenager showed me something different. She showed me that this is a good place, where the animals are cared for extremely well, loved for as long as they’re there and often longer. I started going with her some months back, marveling at her confidence in going into the kennels and loving on whatever dog needed some attention. I was amazed at how much I wanted to be there, and so I finally did my own volunteer orientation last weekend. I can’t spend a lot of time there on any given day, but I’ve done an hour here, 45 minutes there, and though it remains sad to leave the dogs at the end, it makes me feel like I’ve done something that is genuinely good in the world. My heart is happy about it. 

Also happy about the fact that it’s summer. I noticed so many colors in the world today, pinks and purples that are just a gift to us. It’s a good balm for my racing mind, the one that worries about Russia and North Korea becoming buddies; the one that is appalled at Meta claiming rights to any of my content for use in AI. The world so often seems incredibly bleak, and that is said by someone who has countless privileges. A friend texted this morning, though, that this first day of summer will have nearly 15 hours of daylight. And that really is something to celebrate. 

For now, on this bright day that started off at 48 degrees, I’m off to humble myself in admitting one of the many, many things I don’t understand. Here’s to learning, and growing, in whatever way we need to. 

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