How to Reclaim Your Energy — Talkspace

Mommy burnout isn’t a figment of your imagination. Recent research found that more than half — 57% — of parents are burned out. Maternal burnout is a real occurrence that sucks your energy and can rob you of the ability to be the mom you want to be. Moms are constantly juggling duties, from professional commitments and personal interests to basic childcare needs. 

If you’ve recently found yourself grappling with overwhelming exhaustion, you might be experiencing mom burnout. Also known as depleted mother syndrome, research suggests this form of parental burnout is an emotional and physical state where the demands of motherhood can lead to an ultimate depletion of energy and result in anxiety and depression. 

It’s easy to see how motherhood burnout happens since being a mom is hard — often, your days start at dawn and don’t stop until you collapse late at night. On any given day, you might be responsible for preparing meals, ensuring your children are dressed, fed, and entertained, going to work meetings, and keeping the house some semblance of order. There is laundry and shopping to do, bills to pay, emails to be answered, and that’s not even everything. The experience is far from unique. It’s shared by countless mothers who strive to be “perfect” while still excelling in their careers and maintaining social connections. 

Mom burnout is more than just exhaustion or feeling tired — it can make you feel empty every day. The good news is there are things you can do to combat the feeling of burnout. Learn to recognize the signs of mommy burnout and discover tips to turn things around.

Recognize the Signs of Mom Burnout

For some moms, it can be shocking to realize that their exhaustion is actually a sign of burnout. It often comes late enough that the damage has already begun, affecting both their psyche and their ability to mother. The good news, though, is overcoming and healing from burnout symptoms is possible. Recognizing the signs of being a burnt out mom is the first step in getting support. 

• Chronic fatigue: Chronic fatigue is not feeling tired. It’s persistent, debilitating exhaustion that doesn’t improve with rest. 
• Loss of interest in once-enjoyed activities: Burnout can take the pleasure you once found in hobbies, activities, or friendships, leaving you with little interest or joy. 
• Frequent irritability or mood swings: You might find yourself snapping at little things that used to just be minor annoyances or experiencing wild mood fluctuations more frequently.
• Feelings of detachment or isolation: Burnout can cause you to feel disconnected from family and friends. It can lead to isolation, where being social feels too overwhelming and more like an obligation.
• Change in appetite or sleep patterns: You might start eating significantly more or less than usual. Insomnia or excessive sleeping is also common and can further deplete energy levels.
• Persistent feelings of overwhelm or inadequacy: A constant sense that it’s impossible to catch up or that your best efforts aren’t enough can be a clear sign of burnout.
• Mom guilt over not being able to meet perceived parenting standards: Harsh self-criticism over not fulfilling the — often unrealistic — expectations you place on yourself can exacerbate feelings of failure.
• Inability to concentrate: Mental burnout can make it difficult for you to focus on tasks at work or home.
• Physical symptoms: Headaches or stomach issues can indicate chronic stress or mental stress. They’re signs that your body is struggling to cope with ongoing anxiety. 

Lean on a Support System

A strong support system can drastically ease the burden so many moms face. Connecting with others who understand or can empathize with you will offer vital emotional support. Other moms who relate to you can make you feel less alone and like you can learn how to deal with mom burnout. You can connect with other moms through:

• Local mom groups
• Online forums
• Social media platforms
• Peers who are in similar phases of life

Let those closest to you be your pillar of strength and support, especially if you’re a working mom. Talk to your partner, friends, or family. They can take some of your load and help with household and parenting responsibilities. Open communication about your feelings and struggles is crucial in fostering a profound connection where you feel supported and understood. 

“You do not need a massive village to cheer you on! But sometimes, quality over quantity can be the trick. Stay connected to those supports that ground, bring levity, and a sense of humor to your midst! It can be so validating to remain close to like minded friends and family in order to harmonize what can feel like the drudgery of mothering. It is hard but not impossible most especially with friends and family around you that can offer so much perspective to even reinvigorate the path ahead. If they are far away, sometimes a quick text can be enough to keep things light.”

– Talkspace therapist, Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C 

Prioritize Self-Care & Give Yourself “Mommy Time”

It can be easy to neglect crucial self-care time that’s so essential to maintaining physical and mental health. Whether you are a new mom or a mom of many, set aside some “mommy time” to do things you love. Read a book, relax in a bath, meet a friend for coffee — do something every week (or day, if you can manage) to replenish your energy reserves. 

“A regular dose of ‘respite’ is critical to maintaining stamina. Even the most brief period of relief allows for some emotional regulation and refuge which is key to recharging your batteries. Stick to the things that bring you joy or mix it up with something new! The kids shouldn’t have all the fun.”

– Talkspace therapist, Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C 

Share Responsibilities

One effective way to fight against mom burnout is by sharing the load. It’s not solely your responsibility to do everything for your home and child. Let others help. From partners taking on a more significant role in the day-to-day routine to other children who can help out with age-appropriate tasks and chores, you can alleviate parenting stress in your own life while creating a sense of teamwork that strengthens the family bond. 

Being a single mom does make this rather challenging, so we recommend creating a support network that can help you with household tasks or errands.

Seek Professional Help

The weight of motherhood can be heavy, but you don’t have to carry it alone. Professional help is available and will offer you support and guidance to help you navigate mom burnout. 

For busy moms, traditional therapy might seem impossible. Adding one more thing to your already packed plate can feel more overwhelming than helpful. Talkspace makes it easy to get help with online therapy from the comfort and privacy of your own home, with times that fit into your schedule. Talkspace makes therapy convenient, with options for texting, voice messaging, or video calls, so help is flexible and accessible. 

Set Boundaries & Say No When Needed

Boundaries are critical in preventing mommy burnout. It’s important to recognize that saying no is OK — in fact, it’s necessary for maintaining your mental health and physical well-being. Maybe you should pass on that additional commitment or say no to those extra hours at work. Be confident in the boundaries you set. It’s healthy to have limits that protect your energy and allow you to prioritize what matters. 

Create a Restful Environment

A calm, restful environment will enhance your ability to relax, recharge, and rejuvenate. Consider decluttering your living space, getting a comfortable chair or couch, or setting up a special nook that can be your retreat when you need some quiet time. Tranquility can reduce stress and promote the relaxation you need to recover from the demands of your day. 

Embrace Quick Resets

Getting some respite from the busy mom life doesn’t mean you must take hours to relax. Embrace quick resets that can be just as effective in refreshing your energy. Research shows even a 10-minute meditation can improve mental focus and cognitive capabilities that are so critical to being a mom. A 20-minute workout or 5 minutes of stretching can also do wonders for your mind and give you that energy boost you’ve been seeking.  

Reclaiming Your Energy and Joy

The journey to reclaim your energy and the joy you want from motherhood will likely take a combination of strategies and tools that are tailored to your needs and circumstances. 

Everything you do to prevent or reduce motherhood burnout will pay off, though. From setting boundaries to taking mommy-me-time to creating a peaceful home environment. you’ll have more energy to be the mom you envisioned you’d be. Your kids will be happier, and you’ll have time to do things outside of the home to fulfill your needs, so you can become a better parent and the best version of yourself. 

Talkspace provides a convenient and accessible online therapy platform, making it a powerful resource for moms. With flexible and affordable therapy options, it can be the key to transforming your life as a mom. Discover how online therapy for parents can help you overcome mom burnout and regain your zest for life.