The main goal of traveling is to relax and unwind — but that can be tough if you’re an introvert traveling with others.
In my work as a mental health therapist, I’ve often spoken with clients who have faced challenging and emotionally draining vacations due to being introverts. Sometimes, people dread a trip before it even begins because they know they’ll become overwhelmed. Or, they return from a trip feeling completely depleted when they had expected to feel relaxed.
This can be incredibly disappointing, as most people plan vacations and invest their hard-earned money in the hope of unwinding and having fun. Unfortunately, these experiences are all too common for introverts. Travel often involves spending extended time with travel partners, navigating crowds, having long, busy days, and being in highly social environments. When introverts don’t get the solitude they need, they may experience stress, irritability, fatigue, emotional overwhelm, and even isolation. And who wants to feel like that on vacation?
Besides my work as a therapist, travel is one of my greatest passions. I’ve visited over 30 countries, numerous U.S. and European cities, and I’m currently exploring the U.S. National Parks. I travel with family, with friends, and solo. I’m a therapist, a traveler, and an introvert.
The Overwhelm of Group Travel
One of my most difficult travel experiences as an introvert was participating in a study abroad program during college. It should have been a dream come true, right? And it was, but it also came with its challenges.
For housing, I was assigned to share a hotel room with two friends for the entire semester — three months. As someone who had never regularly shared a room with even one person, this was a massive adjustment. While I loved these friends dearly, being around them nonstop became draining. They weren’t doing anything wrong, and we had tons of fun, but eventually, my mind and body hit a point of emotional overwhelm.
On top of living together in the same small room, we attended every class together, ate meals together, and traveled together on the weekends. The only time I could get some alone time was during my morning shower — and even then, I had to rush because the three of us had to take turns in the bathroom. The essence of being an introvert is needing time alone to recharge, but if I could literally never be alone, how was I supposed to regain my energy?
Avoiding Group Activities in Order to Squeeze in Alone Time
In the beginning, it was easier to manage because the situation was still fresh, and I was riding the high of being in a foreign country with so much to explore. But by the end of the semester, I was in a full-blown depressive episode.
I started avoiding group activities whenever I could, usually managing to steal just one hour per week for myself in that small hotel room. My friends and I saw The Twilight Saga: New Moon in Vienna, Austria. One friend jokingly pointed out the similarities between me and a scene with Bella Swan, where she’s completely dissociated, as the camera circles around her and the seasons change, her life passing by in agony.
I even arranged for my parents to pick me up during our group’s layover in Charlotte on our return to the States, instead of finishing the trip with everyone else on the final flight to Nashville.
Listening to Your Needs as an Introvert
To some, I can see how this story might come across as privileged. I was able to visit 12 countries on that trip — an experience many people may never have in their lifetime. I had incredible, once-in-a-lifetime experiences that can never be replicated.
As a therapist, I now have a better understanding that a person’s mental health needs, including those related to being an introvert, take precedence over any level of privilege. Mental health concerns are universal, affecting people from all backgrounds and in all types of situations. That said, it’s important to acknowledge that people with privilege often have easier access to the resources necessary to address those needs.
I look back on that time in my life with fondness and excitement, but there’s often a shadow of darkness around many of those memories. Since that semester, I’ve learned a lot about the needs of introverts, both as an individual and through my work as a therapist.
As a frequent traveler, I’ve developed some “rules” for group trips to ensure I’m respecting my own needs while also making my travels as enjoyable as possible.
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6 Rules for Group Travel
1. Set boundaries ahead of time, as much as possible.
One of the best ways to ensure you have a pleasant experience on a group trip is to set clear boundaries — and stick to them.
Talk to your travel group, or at least one person in the group, and let them know you’re an introvert and what that means for you. Discuss expectations upfront. Let them know that you might need to do things a little differently, like going to bed early, and explain what signs to look for that might indicate you’re feeling overwhelmed.
2. Take a break when you need it.
If you start noticing warning signs of overstimulation, it’s time to take a break before things go from bad to worse. Your body and mind will thank you for acting quickly. Taking a break can be simple — step outside a restaurant for some fresh air, go to the bathroom for a moment of silence, or head back to your hotel for a nap — whatever you need.
If you’re in a situation where taking a full break isn’t possible, like on public transportation or during a group tour, take a mini mental break. You can try a guided meditation, practice deep breathing, or politely excuse yourself from the conversation. And don’t forget to bring your noise-canceling headphones!
3. Schedule time to be alone (and don’t feel the need to justify it).
If you’re in charge of planning, make sure to schedule time for yourself (or time with just your partner or a small group, if that better suits your needs). If you’re not the planner, let the person organizing the trip know about your need for downtime (refer back to Rule #1).
This could mean taking yourself out for a meal, sleeping in, having a spa day, or simply relaxing at your hotel for a bit. You might need this time daily, or just once or twice during the trip. Either way, by scheduling it, you’re more likely to actually make it happen.
4. Ensure that you have some level of control over your trip.
One of the things I lacked most on my study abroad trip was control. I couldn’t control my routine, schedule, or lodging. (And as introverts, we like having at least some sense of control!)
There’s a lot about travel — and life — that will always be out of our control, so it’s important to learn how to cope with that. But it’s equally important to take charge of the things that are within your control.
For example, don’t commit to full-day, structured group tours if you know you’ll need time alone, and don’t agree to trips where you don’t have a say in lodging arrangements if that could be a trigger. If you want your own room, say so!
5. Practice solo self-care.
Take time each day of your trip to practice intentional solo self-care. Write in a journal, go to bed early, do a guided meditation, take a bath, or spend time in quiet self-reflection. The more you take care of yourself, the more energized and ready you’ll be when it’s time to reconnect with your fellow travelers.
6. Book your own room, if possible.
I mentioned this earlier, but it deserves its own section! Having your own room, whether it’s just for you or for you and a partner/friend, can make a huge difference in giving you the space you need to recharge.
I understand this isn’t always possible due to financial or logistical reasons, but try to make it a priority when you can — include it in your travel budget.
Airbnbs are a great option for traveling introverts because they often offer multiple bedrooms at a more affordable price than booking multiple hotel rooms.
Introverts Can Travel With Others
Remember, being an introvert doesn’t have to limit your life, especially when it comes to travel. You can be a successful traveling introvert by understanding, communicating, and enforcing your boundaries, and by practicing good self-care. Travel can be an exhilarating and transformative adventure with many mental health benefits, and introverts can experience this just as fully as anyone else.
I hope my travel “rules” and experiences help you determine your own set of guidelines and boundaries. Happy travels! 
