INFJs see the world in a unique way that many people can’t understand or relate to, which can leave them feeling unhappy.
The INFJ is considered the rarest of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, perhaps making up only 1-2 percent of the population. Because there aren’t many people like them, INFJs often feel like outsiders. INFJs see the world in a unique way that many people can’t understand or relate to, which can leave them feeling unhappy, discouraged, and even depressed.
So, what does this unique personality need to be happy in a society that doesn’t always understand them? Like everyone, INFJs need a sense of purpose, meaningful connections, and more. Here are 12 things they need to be happy.
(Are you an INFJ? Here are 16 signs you’re an INFJ.)
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What INFJs Need to Be Happy
1. A clear sense of purpose
INFJs can’t be happy with a shallow life. Just working to pay the bills will leave them feeling empty and restless. They can handle routine tasks, but like many introverts and highly sensitive people, they need to see how their work fits into the bigger picture. They can’t just clock in and out; to feel truly happy, INFJs need work that excites them, such as helping others or making the world a better place.
However, their sense of purpose doesn’t have to come only from their careers. It can come from being a parent, volunteering, relationships, or creating art. Many INFJs find purpose in fighting for causes they believe in and standing up to injustice. It’s said that no other personality type is better suited to start a movement to right a social wrong.
INFJs have a lot to offer, and the world needs what they have to give.
2. Meaningful conversation
Don’t let their quiet, easy-going demeanor fool you. INFJs are eager to dive into your inner world and learn what makes you tick. They want to hear the secret thoughts you’re afraid to say out loud and how you’re really feeling, even if you say you’re “doing fine.” INFJs love discussing personal, big-idea topics and helping others understand and grow through their complex emotions. They will never use your vulnerabilities against you, so feel free to reveal your inner world. Without enough meaningful conversation, INFJs will wither.
3. A deep understanding of themselves
From a young age, INFJs are obsessed with understanding human nature. They yearn to know others deeply and also to understand themselves. They may turn to journaling, travel, literature, and art to further their self-knowledge. They might switch careers, try different identities, or enter relationships with vastly different people to find out who they are. Without intimate self-knowledge, INFJs will feel lost and aimless.
4. Human contact, not social contact
INFJs are some of the most social introverts and can even be mistaken for extroverts. However, they get drained by small talk and typical socializing. Instead of “social” contact, INFJs need “human” contact — genuine human connections. They need people who can understand their private inner world, listen without judging, and try to see things from the INFJ’s unique perspective. These people are rare but essential for an INFJ’s happiness.
(Speaking of social introverts, here are 10 signs you’re an extroverted introvert.)
5. Alone time
INFJs often surprise people by withdrawing suddenly. They may “turn off” and isolate themselves, not wanting to be bothered by anyone. This isn’t because they are “antisocial.” Rather, alone time is as important to INFJs as food and water, like it is for all introverts. Solitude helps them clear away the noise of the world, focus on their thoughts and feelings, and reflect on their experiences. Without it, INFJs will feel drained, moody, and overstimulated; you may even see the INFJ’s surprising dark side come out.
6. Structure
INFJs don’t need as much structure as some other personality types like ISFJs or ESTJs. However, as a Judging type, they do need some routine and order to function well. They prefer planning ahead over spontaneity because it gives them time to prepare mentally, and like many introverts, they may hate last-minute plans. The INFJ’s plans are usually loose and flexible, reflecting their intuitive nature. Think of a weekly calendar with a few events, not an hour-by-hour schedule.
7. Independence
INFJs don’t just follow the crowd. Despite their easy-going nature, they have an ambitious, strategic, and strong-willed core. They are free-thinkers who quietly go their own way. They function best when they have control over their environment, priorities, and schedule.
8. An orderly environment
Speaking of their environment…
INFJs need their environments somewhat organized. They may not alphabetize their bookshelves (since focusing on tiny details can drain them), but they prefer things to be generally tidy and clutter-free. They often like minimalist spaces because too much clutter can overwhelm their busy minds.
9. An outlet for their insights
INFJs are old souls who understand human nature deeply. They might even question their sanity because they see and understand things others don’t. Thanks to their strong intuition, they excel at predicting people’s actions and “seeing behind the curtain.” Many INFJs find happiness in sharing their insights through writing, counseling, or leadership.
10. An outlet for their creativity
Besides being insightful, INFJs are usually creative individuals with a talent for language. Using metaphors and symbolism, INFJs often excel as writers, poets, and musicians. They may find that mere conversation falls short of expressing their deepest ideas and feelings, so they may turn to creative expression.
11. Beauty
As highly sensitive people, INFJs are deeply moved by art and beauty, whether it’s a well-designed room, a work of art, or a song that touches their heart. Unlike INFPs, who prefer a more bohemian lifestyle, INFJs crave beautiful, high-quality things. This might seem contradictory to their spiritual, “old soul” nature, but for them, beauty is a calming, inspiring force.
(Are you a highly sensitive person? Here are 27 “strange” things highly sensitive people do.)
12. At least one person who “gets” them
INFJs are complex and have many layers. Sometimes even they don’t understand themselves. Not everyone will understand an INFJ, and unfortunately, many people won’t even try. INFJs need at least one person in their life who “gets” them — or at least makes an effort. Having a few close relationships can make all the difference to an INFJ’s happiness.
Want to learn more about the mysterious INFJ? Unlock the secrets of the world’s rarest personality type by subscribing to our FREE email series. You’ll get one email per week, with no spam. Click here to subscribe. 
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