ADHD & Marriage News – February 20, 2025
Quote of the Week
“You can’t punish honesty and expect the truth.”
– Ari Tuckman, PhD.
The Delicate Balance
It gives me great pleasure when I can help a couple learn to communicate better around tasks and responsibilities. By the time they seek help, most couples impacted by ADHD are in parent-child dynamics…and one of the byproducts is that the ‘parent’ figure pushes, organizes, and creates consequences while the child partner hides their true feelings, avoids conflict, and often over-promises in order to please.
Tuckman’s simple advice points to a different way. If you have ADHD, learn how to constructively speak up for yourself. “I don’t have time for to do X” is likely to be healthier for your relationship because it is transparent and honest, than agreeing to do something you fear you can’t do. Transparency, while often hard because it can trigger feelings of shame, is always the best path as it supports a foundation of trust.
Simultaneously, non-ADHD partners have an important role to play in how they respond. While you may feel disappointed that your partner says no, or feel as if you don’t know how you will get yet another thing done, encouraging honesty in the relationship creates a much stronger relationship than getting angry at the honest response. When a partner says no, a constructive response could be an open and inviting, ‘Okay. Let’s talk about other options for getting that done.’
Do you and your partner have room to improve this particular interactive pattern in your relationship?
UPCOMING EVENTS:
ADHD Effect LIVE In-Depth Couples’ Seminar – (The next 9-session ZOOM seminar starts March 18. Registration OPEN).
Resources For Those in Relationships Impacted by ADHD
SEMINARS, GROUPS:
NEW: Intent to Action (i2a) Membership Program: ADHD Management Tools, Expert Support and Community for ADHD Impacted Relationships – (JUST LAUNCHED) Learn to create lasting change as you turn your intentions and knowledge into concrete action. You’ll get specific ADHD management tools, real-time expert support for your relationship, and a connected, like-minded online community.
ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples’ Seminar – (The next 9-session ZOOM seminar starts March 18. Registration OPEN). Is your relationship in trouble? Melissa and senior consultants help partners improve their lives together in this premier seminar that has changed the lives of many, many couples impacted by ADHD. The Self-Study Seminar is available anytime. Move at your own pace. Includes materials and recordings from the recent ’24 live seminar.
Non ADHD Partner Support Group – (Full) Be part of a community of people exploring similar issues; learn from each other’s successes and struggles; find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship. Group leaders include Tami Anderson, Amy Borla, Lee Crespi, Lisa Magel and Ashley Paradise. NEW: LGBTQIA+ and Consensual Non-Monogamy group!
Foundations in Habit Development – (Full) This special series is for ADHD partners who have completed The ADHD Effect Couples’ Seminar. This two month program helps you solidify the changes you have started to make.
ADHD & Marriage Consulting Group – (Registration open. Ongoing). Are you interested in doing individual or couples work with someone who is an ADHD expert? This is a group of professionals who understand the issues faced by individuals and couples impacted by ADHD. We STRONGLY recommend you also take the ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples’ Seminar
Couples Support Group – (Full) Navigating Parent-Child Dynamics. seven sessions. Participants obtain a deeper understanding of what drives their Parent-Child Dynamic, In this group 5 couples will work with Internal Family Systems (IFS) master facilitator, Jason Weber, to understand what ‘parts’ of themselves are participating in the parent-child dynamics and learn how to compassionately move away from it.
FREE RESOURCES:
Weekly Marriage Tips email newsletters;
How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD;
A community forum with other couples facing similar issues;
A large number of blog posts on various topics;
Social Media: – follow us for tips and resources
ADULT ADHD CAN HAVE A HUGE IMPACT ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!
Question? Contact Melissa.
© 2025 Melissa Orlov
