As the parent of an autistic teen, and in my work with autistic adults and their parents, I have witnessed that our journeys toward good personal hygiene often include some unique challenges that most families do not experience.
Many autistic teens experience difficulties with what seem like basic daily hygiene tasks, to their parents’ unending stress and dismay. These struggles aren’t about laziness or defiance, though.
Their struggles reflect neurological differences that require a targeted and thoughtful approach to overcome. Ultimately, the goal is to foster independence while respecting your teen’s unique needs, ensuring they feel empowered.
Here are some practical strategies to help your teen develop better hygiene habits or recognize when it’s better to let things slide.
Download our FREE
Hygiene Routine Checklists
for Children and Teens
Why hygiene can be a challenge for autistic teens
The unique difficulties autistic teens can face when maintaining personal hygiene are rooted in differences in how they experience the world. These can include:
Understanding the reasons behind these struggles can help you approach the topic with greater empathy and patience.
Sensory differences
One of the most common challenges for autistic teens is heightened sensory sensitivity. Due to their intense sensory experiences, everyday hygiene tasks, like showering, brushing teeth, or applying deodorant, can be overwhelming.
The feel of water on the skin might be uncomfortable or even painful, while the strong scents of shampoos, soaps, or deodorants can be unbearable.
Some teens may also have heightened sensitivity to touch, making activities like hair brushing or nail cutting difficult to tolerate. These tasks seem innocuous to many people but can trigger sensory overload, leading to avoidance or resistance.
Executive functioning challenges
Executive functioning refers to the mental skills needed to plan, organize, and complete tasks. For autistic teens with executive functioning challenges, it can be difficult to establish and stick to a hygiene routine.
Tasks that require multiple steps, such as showering or brushing teeth, can feel overwhelming or confusing, leading to procrastination or avoidance.
Even something as routine as deciding when to shower can be a challenge if they struggle with task initiation or time management. Your constant reminders to “remember” and “do” these tasks can result in their resentment.
The need for sameness
Many autistic teens have a strong need for routine and predictability, making new or less-than-pleasant activities like hygiene tasks feel disruptive. Transitioning between these uncomfortable activities can feel overwhelming due to the cognitive demand of shifting their attention.
Hygiene routines demand constant changes to their sensory environment, including water temperature, textures, and smells. Having to break away from a favorite activity to engage in hygiene tasks might be too much for them to process.
Meltdowns or shutdowns can happen, but this resistance reflects how unsettling change can be for them, not an intentional defiance.
Practical strategies for parents
While good personal hygiene is important, it’s essential to recognize that pushing too hard in this area can create significant stress and conflict.
Encourage your teen’s good hygiene, knowing when to let certain tasks slide. This can prevent unnecessary tension while supporting their well-being and long-term success.
Pick your battles
Not every hygiene task carries the same weight. Dental care is crucial for long-term health, so focusing on consistent tooth brushing might be a top priority. However, skipping a shower now and then might not have immediate consequences.
Like what you’re reading?
UNLOCK FULL ACCESS (50%OFF)
Decide which tasks are non-negotiable and which may be flexible to create a more manageable routine for your teen. Approach this with empathy, recognizing that forcing every hygiene task at once may lead to greater resistance.
Instead, work together to prioritize what’s most important based on health needs and tolerance levels.
Respect their sensory differences
Finding sensory-friendly alternatives or adjusting the frequency of certain activities may be more helpful for autistic teens with strong sensory aversions.
Using a shampoo bar without the gooey texture of shampoo has been a winner for many of my clients. Allowing them to sample different products like gel or powdered toothpaste can help make the experience more manageable.
Respecting these boundaries signals to your teen that you understand their discomfort, fostering a sense of safety and trust.
Use declarative language to reduce pressure
Instead of demanding hygiene tasks be completed, use declarative language to encourage participation gently.
Declarative language involves making observations rather than giving commands, which can reduce feelings of pressure. For example, instead of saying, “You need to shower,” you could say, “I noticed it’s been a few days since your last shower.”
Download our FREE
Hygiene Routine Checklists
for Children and Teens
This approach invites your teen to consider the task without feeling like they are being forced. It also fosters cooperation by acknowledging their autonomy, which is particularly important for teens needing control over their routines.
Collaborate rather than control
Focusing on collaboration rather than control helps create a safe space for your teen to re-engage with their hygiene routine when ready.
Encourage open conversations where your teen can express what’s difficult for them and what adjustments might make hygiene more manageable.
You might say, “I’ve noticed it’s been harder to maintain hygiene lately. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Involving your teen in problem-solving gives them a sense of agency, reducing the likelihood of power struggles.
This collaborative approach supports emotional safety, where your teen feels respected and heard rather than criticized. Even if they can’t articulate specific solutions, simply being heard and validated can lower their anxiety around hygiene tasks.
Recognize the long-term goal
It’s important to keep in mind that your teen’s hygiene habits are a journey, not a sprint. Some may improve quickly, while others will take time and gradual progress. You don’t need to tackle every hygiene issue at once.
Focus on one manageable goal at a time, like daily tooth brushing. Or lower the bar and have them swish with a dentist-recommended oral rinse. When that leads to success, celebrate the win. Then, pick one more management goal.
Over time, as your teen becomes more comfortable with certain tasks, you can slowly introduce new ones. This step-by-step approach builds confidence and avoids overwhelming your teen with too many demands at one time.
Recognize progress
Throughout the process of building better hygiene habits, it’s crucial to celebrate progress rather than perfection. Each small step forward without a reminder is worth recognizing.
Acknowledge your teen’s effort, even when the outcome isn’t perfect. If they don’t like that type of recognition, try tuning them into their feelings of pride instead.
Over time, this emotional safety encourages them to return to the routine at their own pace and cements your place as a valuable member of their support team.
FAQs
Q: How can you help autistic adults improve hygiene?
A: Provide step-by-step instructions, use visual schedules, or create routines to make hygiene tasks more manageable. Sensory-friendly products and addressing sensory sensitivities can also be helpful.
Q: Why do neurodivergent individuals avoid showers?
A: Neurodivergent individuals may avoid showers due to sensory sensitivities, such as discomfort with water temperature, pressure, or smells. Executive functioning challenges can also make the process overwhelming.
Q: Does autism affect cleaning?
A: Yes, autism can affect cleaning due to sensory sensitivities to cleaning products or textures and difficulties with planning and organization. Breaking tasks into smaller steps and using visual aids can help.
References
Alegría, P. L., Landim, S. F., Branco, B. H. M., Carmine, F., Birditt, K., Sandoval, C., & González, M. M. (2024). Dental Hygiene Challenges in Children with Autism: Correlation with Parental Stress: A Scoping Review. Journal of Clinical Medicine, 13(16), 4675. https://www.mdpi.com/2077-0383/13/16/4675
Kaydırak, M., Yılmaz, B., Azak, M., & Bilge, Ç. (2023). Effectiveness of menstruation hygiene skills training for adolescents with autism. World Journal of Psychiatry, 13(11), 958. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10701206/
McLay, L., van Deurs, J., Gibbs, R., & Whitcombe-Dobbs, S. (2021). Empirically supported strategies for teaching personal hygiene skills to people with intellectual disabilities. In Adaptive Behavior Strategies for Individuals with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities: Evidence-Based Practices Across the Life Span (pp. 47-72). Cham: Springer International Publishing. https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-030-66441-1_3
Hidayati, T., Akrom, A., Nurasa, I., & Erviana, E. (2019). Health education improve behavior and self-efficacy on personal hygiene among children with intellectual disability. International Journal of Public Health Science, 8(4), 391-399. https://www.neliti.com/publications/300645/health-education-improve-behavior-and-self-efficacy-on-personal-hygiene-among-ch
