As a highly sensitive introvert, my thoughts can splinter into a thousand different directions in a split second.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt like I couldn’t handle life as well as everyone around me. Who cries in the middle of high school band class while listening to Moonlight Sonata? Or chooses to spend Friday nights alone reading? Or takes criticism so harshly that it makes them physically sick? Certainly not most of the people around me.
The conclusion my younger self reached (and believed for years) was that the rest of the world was simply stronger than me. How else could I explain our shared experiences but vastly different reactions? Surely listening to Beethoven made everyone cry, and criticism made everyone nauseous — I just couldn’t hide it as well. Right?
But when I discovered I’m both an introvert and a highly sensitive person (HSP), I realized I hadn’t been comparing myself to people who were stronger — I’d been comparing myself to people who experienced life entirely differently than I did.
(Are you a highly sensitive person? Here are 27 “strange” things highly sensitive people do.)
So, here are five things I experience as a highly sensitive introvert that I didn’t realize weren’t “normal” — but are completely normal for us quieter, more sensitive types.
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5 Odd Things I Experience as a Highly Sensitive Introvert
1. Every thought has an equal and opposite thought — or twenty.
Whether it’s decoding a virtual work meeting or choosing curtains for a room, every interaction or decision comes with hundreds of thoughts competing for my attention. From social cues to the physical environment around me, these external influences shatter my carefully balanced mental world, like a rock hitting a windshield. In a split second, my thoughts — connected by a thin and sometimes fragile thread — splinter in a thousand different directions.
It took a stream-of-consciousness rant, some shocked faces, and a few long discussions for me to realize this wasn’t something everyone experiences. While everyone gets overwhelmed by thoughts sometimes, both highly sensitive people and introverts process things a little differently. In fact, according to Jenn Granneman in her book Sensitive, about 70 percent of sensitive people are introverts, so it’s no surprise that many qualities overlap. We notice details others might miss. For example, if someone shifts while I’m talking, I wonder if they were uncomfortable or reacting to what I said. I might keep thinking about it long after the moment has passed.
Being overwhelmed by the speed and sheer volume of thoughts can be challenging, and highly sensitive introverts can be prone to rumination, overthinking, and burnout because of the mental toll it takes. Talking to a therapist or finding ways to stay mindful and grounded — like spending time in nature — can help us maintain a healthy balance and appreciate the positive aspects of how we process the world. After all, it’s why we excel at noticing things others might overlook and why we’re so aware and responsive to the feelings of those around us.
2. Seemingly insignificant things can be overwhelming.
Like many introverts and highly sensitive people, I often find birthday parties overstimulating. But the worst part isn’t the steady stream of people or the singing — unless I’m the center of attention, which makes it even worse. No, it’s the balloons cheerfully floating over the cake or bouncing along the floor. It’s only a matter of time until one pops. And when it does, I’ll probably jump, scream, and cry all at once.
While I’m still embarrassed by how much sudden sounds shake me, I’m learning to accept it as just how my body reacts. Highly sensitive introverts have nervous systems that respond more intensely to stimuli, like the sound of a balloon popping, which is why we startle more easily than most people. As introverts, we also prefer calm, minimally stimulating environments — loud, sudden noises aren’t exactly our cup of tea.
Being overstimulated and on high alert isn’t fun, but it’s part of why sensitive people and introverts are so observant and aware of the world around us. While we can’t control how our nervous system reacts, we can control how we respond. (I’ve realized that self-judgment and criticism don’t help.)
Taking a step back and finding a quiet space is one of the best ways for highly sensitive introverts to recover from overstimulation. (I highly recommend creating an introvert zen zone!) Even a bathroom can be a peaceful retreat if needed. Giving your mind and body a break is key to self-care for everyone, but it’s especially important for us highly sensitive “quiet ones.”
3. Violent movies take an emotional, and sometimes physical, toll.
When I was in high school, a group of friends decided we should watch Saving Private Ryan. Not knowing anything about the movie — or myself — I agreed. That was a mistake. I spent the entire two hours pressed into the corner of the couch, desperately trying to hide my swollen, tear-streaked face with a pillow. After it ended, everyone else jumped up and started chatting, while I struggled to breathe normally.
Now I know that many highly sensitive people — though not all — simply do not like violent movies. Our brains respond to witnessing violence very differently than the brains of others. In fact, the difference is so stark, it’s almost as if we’re watching completely different films. Telling ourselves it’s “just acting” doesn’t help, and the emotions we absorb from the movie can linger for hours, or even days.
On the bright side, this is tied to our high levels of empathy, a quality often attributed to introverts, too. Both highly sensitive people and introverts may feel the emotions of others as if they were our own. That’s why seeing a child laugh and play in a park can lift our spirits, and comforting a friend can deepen our connection. This ability to relate to the world in such a powerful way makes us unique. It’s also why changing the channel during a Humane Society commercial or turning off a popular but tragic movie might be the healthiest thing you can do for yourself.
4. Dreams can feel incredibly, unnervingly real (which is both good and bad).
When I wake up in the morning, my first thought usually isn’t about the day ahead. Instead, it’s about the dreams I had that night. My dreams can be so vivid and realistic that, at best, the real world feels like a shock to my system. At worst, I can feel weighed down for days by a particularly rough nightmare.
Having vivid, intense dreams is common for highly sensitive people. We have a rich inner world, and combined with our depth of processing, this often leads to complex dreams and nightmares. We’re also more likely to remember the details, whether we want to or not. Thanks to our creativity and tendency to daydream, introverts often find our dream world just as vivid and intriguing as reality.
While more research is needed to understand the connection between dreams and the waking world, journaling can be a great way for sensitive introverts to release dreams and the emotions that come with them. It allows us to take advantage of our natural creativity and explore our complex inner worlds. Who knows? A dream might even inspire a bestselling novel!
5. Criticism feels like a gut punch, and it’s not uncommon to ruminate over it.
Anyone who knows me knows I struggle with criticism. An offhand comment can send me spiraling, and a direct, mean-spirited remark is something I might think about for years. For example, if someone says I’m “too emotional,” you’ll probably find me hiding in the bathroom, replaying every other time I’ve been told that — and, of course, becoming more emotional in the process.
Growing up, I watched my friends shrug off similar comments like they were nothing, while I was told — and told myself — to “toughen up,” “stop taking things so personally,” or just “get over it.” These are comments many highly sensitive introverts hear all too often.
Once I learned I was a highly sensitive person and an introvert, this all began to make sense. For sensitive people, the emotional part of the brain is activated more frequently, so we have to work hard to process criticism logically rather than emotionally. Thanks to our empathetic nature, desire to avoid conflict, and perfectionist tendencies, introverts also tend to react strongly to criticism.
This explains why some of my friends could accept or dismiss criticism without batting an eye, while I had an immediate, visceral reaction. (This may be especially true for sensitive introverts in group settings like classrooms, sports teams, or workplaces, where collective criticism is common.)
Despite this, like many sensitive people and introverts, I’ve always been drawn to creative pursuits like music and writing, where criticism is considered essential for growth. Ironically, the same emotional and empathetic traits that make us sensitive to criticism are also what drive our passion and success in creative endeavors. Fortunately, there are tools sensitive people and introverts can use to make criticism more manageable — from allowing time to gain perspective to asking for positive feedback alongside criticism for a more balanced view.
Is the chaos of life overwhelming you as a highly sensitive person?
Sensitive people have certain brain differences that make them more susceptible to stress and anxiety. Thankfully, there is a way to train your brain so you can navigate the challenges of sensitivity, access your gifts, and thrive in life. Psychotherapist and sensitivity expert Julie Bjelland will show you how in her popular online course, HSP Brain Training. As an Introvert, Dear reader, you can take 50% off the registration fee using the code INTROVERTDEAR. Click here to learn more.
Highly Sensitive Introverts Are Wonderfully Normal
I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that my dreaded sensitivity is completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Being a highly sensitive introvert means I have valuable gifts and strengths to offer the world — from building deep, meaningful relationships to finding purpose and beauty in things many people overlook. Perhaps most importantly, even when I struggled to navigate this overwhelming world, I was never truly alone.
So, my fellow highly sensitive introverts, what experiences would you add to this list? 
