Sometimes, I doubt myself as an introverted mom. Will I ever be the “fun parent” — a role that seems to come naturally to extroverts?
When I take my four-year-old to the park in the evening, I see moms and dads chasing after their kids — some pretending to be playful monsters, others laughing loudly with their friends over inside jokes. I see playdates in full swing at play centers, with parents animatedly exchanging stories about their children’s latest antics.
When my little one started preschool, I made an effort to socialize with other parents from his school and familiar faces from the neighborhood. My son loves these occasions, eagerly joining in with the other kids and making plans for the next day’s activities. But as an introvert, I return home exhausted and overwhelmed, longing to collapse on the couch with a good book and a piping hot cup of tea.
This difference in our personalities often sends me spiraling into self-doubt. Will I ever be the “fun parent” — a role that seems to come naturally to extroverts? Does my son think his mama is lacking, wishing I could be as energetic or as enthusiastic as some of the other adults he knows?
Actually, I think he accepts me just the way I am — and here’s why.
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Why My Son Loves Having an Introverted Mom
1. We share little secrets that spark our creativity.
Every once in a while, we visit a cozy cafe in our neighborhood for Sunday breakfast. They have board games like Scrabble, Chess, and Monopoly. My son loves Monopoly, eagerly setting up the board and arranging the red and green houses in his own unique way. Then we dive into our version of the classic game, filled with hopping shoes, lawbreakers escaping jail, and magical cars flying across town.
“Mama!” my son exclaimed after a recent visit. “Next Sunday, let’s come earlier so we have more time!”
“Why does he love Monopoly so much?” my husband asked, amused. “Can he even play?”
But my son and I didn’t give away the details of our game — it was our little secret.
Over time, we’ve created countless secrets like this, which bring joy to our everyday lives. The microwave gets scolded if it beeps when I’m standing right in front of it. His stuffed kitty mimics him, pretending to be a parrot. We give squeaky voices to the salt and pepper shakers. Inventive games like these help us bond without leaving me feeling drained, and they provide a creative way to encourage him to engage in imaginative play.
Last year, I read Quiet, an insightful and well-researched book by Susan Cain. In it, she explores why introverts often seem to have a creative edge — a stereotype, perhaps, but one supported by many real-life examples. She suggests that because introverts tend to work independently, they draw innovative ideas from solitude. Whether or not this is true, I like to think that this part of my introverted personality helps me connect with my son in a way that satisfies him — even when it’s just the two of us.
2. He has a dedicated calming station.
My son gave up his nap earlier than expected, which led to several months of navigating the tricky transition — balancing between overtiredness and his refusal to rest. As a new mom, I naively thought irrational behavior would ease after the age of four. While the epic meltdowns over dropped popsicles have decreased, they haven’t disappeared entirely. Sometimes, it’s a friend missing from school that triggers the tears, a sudden downpour ruining sandpit play, or even a frightened honeybee on the balcony. In these moments, I’ve found that quiet time can work wonders.
My son and I share bear hugs without saying much — the emotions are often too raw to put into words. He seeks me out when he’s upset, craving a peaceful cuddle to make things right. While most children naturally turn to their parents when distressed, I think he has picked up on my introverted nature, finding comfort in the calm I bring when the world feels overwhelming. He knows that Mama will remove him from the chaos or hold him tight until everything feels okay again.
Even the most extroverted children need moments of calm, whether it’s a snack, a favorite song, or a few quiet minutes building a tower. As an introvert, I feel especially equipped to offer this calm when my child needs it most.
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3. He values the undivided attention I give him.
In today’s world, multitasking has become an essential skill, not just in the workplace but also for parents balancing their roles as caregivers, companions, and guardians. As an introverted parent, however, multitasking isn’t my strength — my focus lies in giving full attention to the task at hand.
I read a CNBC article by Friederike Fabritius, a renowned neuroscientist, who discussed how introverts often excel at sustained focus. Of course, this doesn’t apply to everyone — some extroverts I know can complete a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle in one sitting.
But on most days, I find it easier to stay fully engaged in my son’s long-winded stories about talking pigs and dogs and to immerse myself in his make-believe games. I also sense that he knows Mama will always listen. This reassures me that as he grows, he’ll be more open to sharing his feelings — whether they’re joyful or sad — knowing I’ll always be there to support him.
4. Both of us thrive on routines — a must for introverts.
I appreciate spontaneity as much as anyone, but as an introvert, it doesn’t come naturally to me. Many of us prefer consistency and the comfort of a routine. In this, small children are often our allies. It doesn’t matter if we’ve moved houses, gone on vacation, or had guests over for the weekend — the predictable rhythm of certain activities keeps kids content.
I’ve noticed my son gets overwhelmed if bedtime is delayed too often, no matter how much he insists, “I want to stay up late!” It’s the little things, like a daily story, morning cuddles, or quiet time after school, that help him stay grounded. I understand these needs deeply because I crave them myself.
5. Children have a different definition of boring.
I’ve been called boring on several occasions — if not directly, then through terms like bookish, quiet, or reserved. Society tends to favor extroverts, often viewing them as friendly, expressive, and approachable. Introverts, on the other hand, may not be the life of the party or engage in lively bar-hopping. Interestingly, I’ve found that kids don’t always share these societal preferences.
For some children, a trip to the mall might not be as exciting as an afternoon spent making a New Year’s magic wand with Mom. Cuddling up on the couch to read stories can be the highlight of their day. In fact, “boring” often simply means feeling left out or ignored — something less likely to happen with an introverted mom who naturally spends more time engaged in home-based activities.
Like many moms, I’ve fallen into the trap of comparing myself to other parents and their children. It usually leads to frustration and discouragement without accomplishing much. We grow alongside our children, each at our own pace. I still find playdates, birthday parties, and the world of kids’ socializing daunting, but I’ve learned not to beat myself up when I need to take a step back or “do less.”
My son doesn’t think his mommy is boring — and that’s all that matters. 
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