It’s Monday morning. It’s raining. You pull up outside your office and think here we go again. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt this feeling over the years. You take in one big breath, let out a sigh and prepare yourself for another day of headaches. Work can really suck, especially if you’ve found yourself in a job that feels meaningless and worse, stressful.
I think most jobs have some degree of stress. After all, you’re partly paid to take on the stress of different responsibilities. But let’s be real, sometimes that stress can get out of control. Deadlines, unreasonable targets, cutbacks and unreliable (or annoying) coworkers can cause you a real headache that no amount of coffee can cure.
I’d say work is one of the biggest causes of stress in today’s world. And what’s a real problem is the fact that few are taught how to deal with stress in the workplace or just stress in general. Most of the time you’re told to just get on with it. It’s normal. It’s what you have to do.
“We all have to suffer through the stress together.”
But that was yesterday’s motto. Today, we know that prolonged stress is pretty darn bad for your health. Just take a peep at Heart.org’s short article about how stress affects your physical and mental health. It’s pretty sobering stuff.
And it makes sense. You’re an animal. Long periods of stress aren’t going to be good for your overall system. Like a lot of people, I’ve experienced this kind of stress myself several different times in the workplace and it’s no fun at all.
These days we’re working longer hours, travelling farther and find ourselves always available at the end of an email. You feel trapped, anxious and fed up, exhausted by the endless meetings and demands.
So how can you manage work-related stress?
I could talk about taking regular breaks and practising mindfulness meditations from time to time and whilst those things are great, I wanted to write about some more practical habits that I use.
So here goes.
1. Single-tasking
They say that multi-tasking is a sign of a productive person. But is it? I don’t know about you but when I juggle more than a couple of things, my work suffers for it. And it’s not just the spreadsheets in front of you. It’s your beeping phone and the person next to you who wants to tell you what they did on the weekend hour by hour that can pull your focus away, causing you added stress.
When I’m laser-focused on one thing, my work doesn’t just get done faster but better too. And I’m sure you’re the same.
Think about it.
When was the last time you blocked out one task for more than half an hour?
Single-tasking makes me less stressed because I’m less distracted. You’re able to regain your focus when you concentrate on one thing at a time. So how do you go about doing this?
What you can do: make a habit of blocking out a task for a set period of time. Start with the most important or time-sensitive task you need to complete and do it when you get to work. Don’t be tempted to look at your phone or your emails until after you’re done. Practise doing this for 20, 30 or 40 minutes to begin with.
2. Don’t get dragged into gossip
Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you. – Philip Sidney
Workplace gossip is a funny thing. At times it feels like you’re still in the playground. But getting involved with the “he said” and “she said” gossip just adds another layer of stress to your days and it stops you from single-tasking and getting the most important stuff done. I’ll admit, it can be kind of interesting to listen to the latest gossip but I can’t think of a time in my experience that it’s ever been useful.
Worst still, gossip can turn into conflict rather quickly. “Jimmy said you were talking behind his back, now he’s not very happy with you!”
Sigh.
It’s nonsense. It’s stressful and that kind of conflict just doesn’t need to exist in the first place.
What you can do: when someone offloads the latest gossip onto you, take it with a pinch of salt. Don’t react to it. If someone has been muttering under their breath about you, remember the issue lies with them, not you. Think of it like being dragged into an argument on Facebook – do you really need to keep answering back? It just prolongs the stress. It’s pointless.
3. Ditch the perfectionism
Healthy striving is self-focused: “How can I improve?” Perfectionism is other-focused: “What will they think?” – Brene Brown
I’ve worked with plenty of people who completely fall apart the minute something small goes wrong or when they make a small mistake. Why? Because they try to be perfect with every single task they have to do. It causes them unimaginable amounts of stress. These people cause themselves most of their stress and they don’t even realise it.
Think of your work day like a game of soccer. Are you going to win every single one of the hundred games you play? No. No chance. You’re going to let in a bunch of goals by accident because that’s just the nature of the game. Yes, it’s great to strive to be better but when perfection becomes the standard level you’re aiming for, you’re going to stress yourself out. That’s because “perfect” doesn’t exist and it never has…
You’re not a machine. You’re not AI. There will be better days than others. Don’t beat yourself up over it.
What you can do: Every morning, remind yourself: I’ll do the best I can but if I make a mistake that’s okay – I’m not a robot. I’m not perfect and never will be.
4. Does this need to affect me?
There are a billion and one things that are thrown in your face from the minute you clock in until the moment you turn off your computer. Some of those things can be, well, stressful. But they don’t need to be. When something happens you deem bad, ask yourself: does this need to affect me?
As in, is it really a big deal? Or will this be completely forgotten the next day? Like the perfectionists, most people create their own stress without even realising it, generated by the small events throughout the working day. And it’s understandable. We’re emotional creatures. But sometimes those emotions aren’t helpful. If someone is angry with you, ask yourself if it really needs to affect you. Do you need to react to it?
When you decide what you want to react to, you cut out 90% of your work stress in the flick of a finger. Here is an example;
I used to get annoyed and stressed every time it took someone a full 24 hours to run a report for me. I was impatient and stressed myself out. But if it’s not urgent, it’s not a big deal. It can wait.
There are so many little things that don’t warrant a reaction from me and learning this kind of self-control becomes easy when you’re mindful of the small niggles that could potentially annoy you but in reality, are no big deal.
What you can do: Think about the things that stress you at work. Ask yourself why they bug you. Do you need to react to them with anxiety, stress or anger? What are the little things you can protect your inner calm by opting for no reaction?
5. Change the narrative
We are all born as storytellers. Our inner voice tells the first story we ever hear. – Kamand Kojouri
When you feel stressed at work, it can be helpful to change the narrative. A lot of people feel trapped in “soulless”, “meaningless” and “painful” jobs that sap their energy and make them want to collapse on the sofa at the end of the day with a big bag of Cheetohs before passing out. I’ve been there. You feel trapped as if you’re just a robot clicking buttons all day with endless demands.
You feel like you have no life.
And this is when it’s helpful to change the narrative, especially when you feel burned out. A practical way to start managing work-related stress is to flip the narrative to this…
What you can do: remind yourself that you’re not trapped. You’ve had other jobs and you can get a new job if you want to. You’re at work to pay for all the things you need and love. Your daily work is providing a service to someone, almost like a freelancer. You’re not just a number.
6. Have something else going on
The people I know who experience a lot of work-related stress are the ones who feel trapped as if their life revolves around working, working, working. And that’s fair enough, many of us find ourselves feeling like that from time to time. But these are usually the people who much of the time nothing else going on.
These are usually the folks who have found themselves stuck in the same old routines, unable to break out of their hamster wheel in and out of work. However, one of the biggest habits I have for managing work-related stress is having something else going on, which I call a project or a hobby. The problem is, work is tiring and sometimes you can’t be bothered to do your hobbies, you just wanna eat those Cheetohs and put your feet up.
But I think you have to make time. If you don’t you end up on that hamster wheel too, only adding to the feeling of being “trapped”.
Having a hobby or a side project feeds the creative part of you. It’s a part of you that can easily take a back seat but if you ask me, it is important to muster whenever you can. Feeding this part of you breaks up your stagnant routines and gives you something that work cannot – something you can control, and hopefully something you love doing that restores your energy.
What you can do: if you already have something you love doing outside of work, keep doing it or do it even more in the evenings, not just at the weekends. If you don’t, think outside the box, Have you always wanted to join a club or class? Is there a creative pursuit you could try out to break up your week and give you a new perspective?
7. Practise relentless forgiveness
It is unrealistic to expect people to see you as you see yourself.”
– Epictetus
The moment I realised everyone was in this together was the moment I found myself forgiving the grumpy mumbles or short snappy replies. And I don’t just mean the people on the same payroll. I mean the same shared experience in life. People come to work with all kinds of issues that they’re going through. A lot of people are walking around fed up and annoyed.
They never learned to regulate their own emotions.
Sandra might come in after having an argument with her husband and ends up being short with you. Derrick just got a parking ticket and is in a real stink so he doesn’t answer your emails. Your boss just found out his wife has a boyfriend and yells at you about something minor.
People have got stuff going on.
Does it make it right they take things out on you? No. But people are flawed. There are people looking for an argument all the time, sometimes for no reason at all. And sometimes you’re in the firing line.
One way to protect your inner calm is simply to remember this: you can’t control other people. If someone is in a grump with you, there’s a good chance it’s not even because of you.
We’re a bunch of apes dressed in suits, vibrating with emotions.
What you can do: Yes it’s hard. But practise “letting it go”. Shrug it off. Remember it is their problem, and you don’t need to share it with them. Instead of reacting, forgive them in your head and move on. Don’t take it personally.
8. Set work-life balance boundaries clearly
What I advise you to do is, not to be unhappy before the crisis comes…some things torment us more than they ought; some torment us before they ought; and some torment us when they ought not to torment us at all. We are in the habit of exaggerating, or imagining, or anticipating, sorrow. – Seneca
I’ve had many jobs in the past where I couldn’t switch off once I clocked out. Many times I’d spend all weekend worrying if I’d forgotten to do something. My phone would buzz with text messages from colleagues or bosses asking me if I could come in early and whatnot. Sometimes this is unavoidable, depending on the job you do. But other times it’s possible to cut this ‘constant access’ out of your life. Work-life balance is a tricky one to master because work “is part of your life”.
But it’s not your whole life.
Boundaries are important. They exist so you can switch off and focus on other things like your family time. They exist to reduce stress so you can get on with what you love outside of your working hours. Without them, you’re always available. One habit I use for managing work-related stress is keeping my boundaries at the forefront of everything. You could spend your evenings and even your whole weekends exchanging messages with work colleagues or simply just thinking about work. But you get to a point where you never switch off, causing you a great deal of stress.
Your whole life revolves around working.
What you can do: Tell colleagues not to message you in the evening or on the weekends. Whatever it is can wait until you’re back at your desk. Let them know it’s nothing personal, you just need the space when you’re at home. If you find yourself constantly thinking about work, remind yourself regularly – if you keep thinking about work, when will you ever switch off? Set boundaries with yourself. Block out a chunk of time where you allow yourself to think about work. Likewise, block out time when you can think about other things.
Wrapping it all up
There are probably 101 ways to deal with work stress and different things that work for different people. These are just the things that have worked for me and keep me grounded when work feels all-consuming.
I believe that reducing work-related stress makes you happier overall. After all, you spend a good chunk of time at work so it makes sense to “work” on looking after your inner calm when it comes to clocking in.
Start creating better habits today.
If you’re ready to start organising your life so you have the space to create better habits, download your FREE Better Habits Bundle now.
Sean C is a writer, passionate about improving one’s self by maintaining healthy habits and doing the things that make life more meaningful.
