When it comes to surviving a bachelor or bachelorette weekend, the more you can prioritize your introvert needs, the better.
A few months ago, I got the call that every introvert simultaneously lives for and dreads. One of my best friends had a simple question for me: “Will you be my Maid of Honor?” Spoiler alert: I said “Yes.” And the anxiety started almost immediately.
As introverts, we deeply value our close friendships and connections. Because of that, it’s incredibly comforting and fulfilling to hear a friend or family member say what we long to hear: “You are my person. I need and want you there, to help and support me. Will you stand up with me?”
That moment can feel a lot like receiving a heartfelt Valentine in middle school. Kind of embarrassing? Yeah. Uncertain what it means for your future? Definitely. But also… nice.
Why Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties Can Be Problematic for Introverts
Then the bridal party responsibilities set in, most of which are extrovert-centric. Finding your dress or ordering your suit. Deciding on travel plans. (Decisions, am I right?) Pitching in on decorations, party ideas, or gifts. And if you’re the Maid of Honor or Best Man, you have even more duties. These may include giving a speech, hosting a shower or engagement party, and being available for every panicky or excited moment the bride or groom may have — at any hour of the day.
As an introvert, you’re probably very good at most, if not all, of those things. We introverts are often great leaders, detail-oriented, and empathetic, making us ideal supporters for big life changes. But all that support, organizing, and speech-writing can come at a cost: the introvert hangover.
When it comes to the bachelor or bachelorette weekend, introverts can probably count on exhaustion and burnout. Even if you’re the life of the party, a whole weekend of celebrating can completely wipe you out. These events require constant interaction, a high number of activities, a high-stimulus environment, and consistent emotional enthusiasm. It’s clear why bachelor/bachelorette weekends can be a minefield for an introvert!
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How to Survive a Bachelor or Bachelorette Weekend as an Introvert
1. Plan as much of the weekend as possible.
This might sound counterintuitive — more responsibility? Actually, yes. Depending on your personality, knowing the schedule, plan, and travel arrangements in advance can help you stay present during the weekend. It may also allow you to schedule breaks.
As my friend’s Maid of Honor, I planned meals, games, and outings for our entire weekend of celebration. But I specifically left Sunday morning empty, knowing that the introverts in the group (especially me!) would need some downtime to recover. We ended up just sitting around, chatting quietly over coffee, and it was a delightful break from the busy weekend schedule.
Helping make the plans might also allow you to have some say in the events. Of course, the weekend is about the bride or groom, not you. But you might be able to convince the rest of the bridal party to trade a crowded karaoke bar for a private karaoke party at someone’s house, saving a little of your energy for whatever comes after the drunken singing.
2. Pay more for your own room instead of sharing with others.
Having your own bedroom is a game-changer for an introvert. Even just having your own bed can relieve some of the stress of being “on” and ready to go at all times. It’s not always possible, but it’s worth it to fork over a little extra cash for a place to recover and rest, even if it’s only overnight. Some extroverts might balk at the idea, claiming that sleepovers are more fun, but understand that your peace and sanity are worth fighting for.
3. Give yourself breaks.
The “hide in the bathroom” trick is a classic for a reason. As an introvert, you need occasional breaks from noise, people, and responsibility. Whether this means scheduling a morning off or stepping outside to “get some air,” there are plenty of ways to work in short breaks. Try to find a low-stimulus environment whenever possible, and carve out anywhere from two minutes to an hour to breathe and return to your comfort zone.
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4. Be confident in your introversion.
One of the many gifts of being an introvert is our ability to be observant. When you’re quiet and taking in the world around you, you notice things in your own unique way. For example, you might see that one groomsman keeps getting left out of the small talk. What a perfect opportunity to leave the large group and strike up a deeper, one-on-one conversation! Or you might notice that the bride’s mother is constantly getting up to check the beverage station. This is a great chance to offer to watch the drinks and restock as needed.
In other words, while losing yourself in service to others isn’t the healthiest solution for all introvert challenges, when used sparingly, it can provide some much-needed rest from the energy and chaos of a party.
5. Remember, they asked you to be “their person” for a reason.
Possibly the most important point of all: The best way to survive a bachelor or bachelorette weekend is to remember that the bride or groom asked you to be there. Not someone else. You. The introvert. Coming to the party as you are — and accepting your need for downtime and rest — is part of being a good friend or family member.
And, as in much of life, communication always helps. If you get nervous about giving a speech, tell someone how you’re feeling. Just make sure to express both the anxiety and the excitement of toasting the bride or groom. If you need a break, let the rest of the bridal party know so they can step in for a moment while you walk around the block. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need whenever possible.
As an introvert, you bring strengths and gifts to the weekend. Embrace those strengths and the introvert needs that come with them. The party may feel like an extrovert’s paradise, but you’ve also been invited to take up space there. Remember, they asked for your presence.
Don’t Forget to Have Fun
Despite the potential for anxiety, exhaustion, and introvert hangovers, this is an event you’ll want to remember fondly. Your loved one is celebrating a huge life change and commitment! As much as possible, take time to soak in the moment.
And if that means taking breaks, paying a little more, or following any of the other suggestions, do it! It may feel like a lot to handle and process, but there are only so many times you get to be a part of someone’s wedding. You are their “person.” Enjoy it as much as you can. 
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