Being in a salon often means being the center of attention and enduring enforced small talk — two things introverts hate.
A few weeks ago, I had a haircut, which might not seem like a big deal. But trust me, it was: Lately, my husband has been cutting my hair at home.
This recent visit reminded me just how much I don’t enjoy going to the hair salon. In fact, I’ve never really liked it and often leave feeling drained and dissatisfied.
Then came a lightbulb moment: I’m an introvert, so of course I don’t like going to the hair salon. Being in a salon means I’m the center of attention, there’s enforced small talk, and I can’t leave without drawing even more attention to myself. It’s an introvert’s nightmare!
I also realized it’s no coincidence that I’ve been getting my hair cut at home for the past 16 years, ever since my eldest child was born. Initially, it was just more convenient, but over time, the home haircuts became the norm, and I had no desire to return to the salon. Friends would talk about how much they loved their stylist or share stories about how the salon was a treat, but I just couldn’t relate.
And this is what I love about introversion: Even after knowing I’m an introvert, embracing it, and building a business around introversion, I’m still learning. Just when I think I’ve figured out this introversion thing, I have another realization about how it shows up in my life and why I behave and think the way I do.
Back to the hairdresser… it turns out I’m not alone in my discomfort. Other introverts I’ve spoken to have shared their own experiences with haircuts, and many find the salon uncomfortable too. Most of them also get their hair cut at home. Coincidence? I think not.
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Tips for Surviving a Hair Salon Visit as an Introvert
1. Check out the vibe in advance.
Before booking an appointment, visit the salon to get a sense of the atmosphere. Is it filled with loud music and high energy? If the environment feels overstimulating, chances are the staff and clients enjoy that kind of vibe. If you feel drained just by stepping into the place, even before talking to anyone, then this isn’t the salon for you.
2. Consider the size of the salon.
If the salon has numerous workstations and serves several customers at once, it’s likely to be noisier and more chaotic. You might prefer a more intimate setting. Personally, I find it frustrating when stylists chat with each other while working and ignore their clients. Even though I’m not always the most talkative person, I want my stylist’s full attention on my hair, not on a conversation with a colleague.
3. Ask yourself if you feel heard.
In every interaction — from booking your appointment to discussing your haircut with the stylist — do you feel heard? As an introvert, it might not always be easy to speak up and express your needs, so it’s important to be surrounded by people who make you feel comfortable and truly listen to you. This applies to everyone you encounter, from the receptionist to the person washing your hair to the stylist themselves. There are great professionals out there, so take the time to find someone who really works for you.
4. What about conversation: Will they support the level of interaction you prefer?
Small talk isn’t something most introverts enjoy… at all. Sometimes it’s a necessary evil, but we’d rather connect with someone over a more meaningful topic than the weather. And then there are days when you just want to sit in silence. Both are perfectly fine, but it’s important to find a salon that respects your preferred level of interaction. Let’s be honest, many stylists might be introverts themselves who appreciate some quiet time to focus on the haircut without the need for constant conversation.
5. Timing is everything when deciding when to go.
A wise friend once told me to choose a time when the salon is likely to be quieter. If possible, avoid weekends altogether. Mondays are probably as quiet as it gets. This way, even in a larger salon, the atmosphere is likely to be more relaxed, allowing you to enjoy a peaceful experience. I wish I’d considered this back when I used to visit the hairdresser. Because of work commitments, I always scheduled my haircuts on Saturdays, which is the busiest time of the week. The salon was always packed, with loud music blaring. While some might find that environment energetic and exciting, for me, it was just overwhelming and exhausting.
6. Choose the right stylist for you.
This is likely the most important decision of all. No matter where you get your hair cut, if you have a rapport with the stylist — where you can talk as much or as little as you’d like — you’ll likely enjoy the experience more and leave with a great haircut. Many introverts I’ve spoken to have had the same stylist for years. So when you find someone who matches your introverted vibe, it could be the start of a long and rewarding relationship.
7. Do your research on the haircut you want.
Whether you’re considering a new hairstyle or just a trim, it’s helpful to do some research before heading to the salon. Have a photo or two ready to show your stylist. I know how it feels: You’ve planned it all out in your head, but when your stylist asks what you’d like, you suddenly feel like a deer in headlights. Your words escape you, and you struggle to explain what you want. It’s almost like being back in the classroom, put on the spot by your teacher. To avoid this, be prepared. Photos are great, and if that’s not possible, think carefully about how you can describe the style you want — maybe even jot down some notes. Remember, preparation is one of the things introverts do best.
8. Be prepared to speak up — after all, it’s your hair!
Even with the best research and preparation, things might not always go as planned. Your stylist might have a different vision for your hair, or there might be an assumption that you’d enjoy a free head massage while getting your hair washed. If at any point you feel steamrolled or unheard, as difficult as it might be, you need to speak up.
Being prepared can help in this situation too. Think about what you might say if things don’t go as expected. You could even practice before your salon visit. Remember, being assertive is not the same as being aggressive. It’s simply about setting boundaries to ensure your needs and opinions are respected, just as you would respect someone else’s. Learning to be assertive is a valuable skill — not just for haircuts, but for life in general.
Case in point: Many years ago, I had my hair cut at a local salon (on a Saturday afternoon, of course, when the place was super busy). When I got home, I realized one side was shorter than the other, which was definitely not the look I was going for. Although it felt awkward, I went back to the salon and asked them to correct the mistake, which they were happy to do.
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Be Prepared so You Can Actually Enjoy the Experience
The good news is that there are some wonderful hair stylists, nail technicians, and masseuses who know how to make us “quiet ones” feel comfortable, heard, and relaxed. Whether you decide to stay home for your next trim or venture out to a place where you feel at ease, the key is to ensure you enjoy both the experience and the end result. As for me, I’ve heard there’s a lovely salon nearby that’s known for making fellow introverts feel comfortable and listened to, all while delivering a great haircut. All this talk of salons has piqued my curiosity, so I might just check it out when it’s time for my next cut!
If you want to find out more about Quietosophy®, you can check out my blog here or download my free guide with 10 Top Tips to be Heard — Without Having to Shout. 
