Introverts can be elusive creatures. One moment we might be quiet, and the next, we can be quite chatty if someone makes us feel comfortable.
It has taken me a lifetime to truly embrace my introvert behavior. Realizing later in life that I’ve always been an introvert helped me finally understand myself. Being an extroverted introvert and a highly sensitive person didn’t make it any easier.
Sometimes, I can be quiet, but I also thoroughly enjoy the company of my favorite people.
My biggest mistake used to be overcommitting to social events to the point where I would suddenly have to go completely silent, needing to escape civilization until I felt like myself again.
Most often, I would escape to nature, taking a solo hike in the woods or finding the most secluded beach I could. At that point, I felt so energetically drained that I would get annoyed if someone showed up in my hiding spot. Weird, right?!
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Embracing My Introvert Behavior
Now it all made sense! All those times I couldn’t gather the energy to utter one more word, and when I had no space left to take on the energy of someone else’s day. I often felt completely drained from my work as a manager and project coordinator for a busy design and print business, being paid to chat and empathize whenever an issue arose. My calm, empathic nature seemed to attract every extroverted person in the vicinity with a story to tell.
Yet, I always had a strong need for space, a craving for quiet time to just hear my own thoughts and enjoy my own company. Introverts make up about 50 percent of the population, so I’m definitely not alone in this need.
In fact, when I learned I met the signs of an introvert, I suddenly felt part of a larger community, and a very special picture began to unfold. Try explaining your introverted ways to an extrovert — it might lead to strange looks and confusion.
Thankfully, I know that many of the quirky introvert behaviors that follow will resonate with many of you and prove that we “quiet ones” are not so weird after all.
Introvert Behaviors That Seem Weird But Have a Purpose
1. You ignore phone calls.
Work and loved ones are my exception to this rule, but we introverts generally don’t enjoy phone calls during our private time. Our brains are wired differently, and it can take a lot of energy to form meaningful sentences before we speak. Since speaking out loud can be draining, we prefer to do it only when we have something of significance to say.
(If you’re curious, here’s the science behind why writing tends to be easier than speaking for introverts.)
We especially don’t like to feel “on call” during our alone time. To us, it’s like someone interrupting a very important meeting — a meeting with ourselves. And video calls are probably the most intrusive of all.
2. You disappear — and then reappear — at random.
When introverts disappear, like not answering your texts right away or going off on their own, it might be a sign that we’re in “downtime mode.” Our energy is drained, and although we cherish our relationship with you, we need solitude to recharge. Being alone, in our own space and with our own thoughts, helps us re-enter the busy world again.
People sometimes see this introvert behavior as flakiness, aloofness, or even rudeness, but it’s actually a form of self-care. We need it to thrive and feel like ourselves again. If you get to know us, you’ll see that we’re better off after our alone time.
(If you’re curious, here’s the science behind why introverts need alone time.)
3. You feel an intense connection to animals. “Crazy cat lady” much?
All jokes aside, I’ve always loved animals. I’ve realized it’s likely because introverts can have a deeply affectionate and reciprocal relationship with an animal — without the need for conversation.
In many ways, animals understand us best because they don’t drain our social battery like people do. Even on our down days, we can still enjoy quiet company with an animal. Plus, they often “get” us and can sense when something is wrong, making them just as empathetic as we are.
4. You hide from people you know.
This introvert behavior goes back to why we don’t enjoy phone calls or going out in public when our energy is low. Bumping into people at the grocery store or even in our own neighborhood when we’re not feeling our best can be super draining. It may sound bad, but sometimes we literally don’t have the energy to chat. Yep, that’s me ducking into the dairy aisle to avoid small talk.
During the Covid-19 pandemic, masks were a small comfort to me, allowing me to get things done without unexpected interactions. Normally, most people don’t walk around wearing disguises, so this was a rare chance to avoid unexpected interactions.
5. Yet, other times, you may chat someone’s ear off.
Take this as a compliment: Introverts are complex creatures. We can be extremely outgoing and talkative with people who understand us and make us feel comfortable. Often, we’re the listeners in most conversations, so it can be a relief to share some of our own thoughts. This means that the person you’re speaking with might be an introvert underneath it all. We can be very elusive.
We may also be very conscientious about our work, so we might temporarily act more extroverted to get the job done. Many of us have had to “fake it ‘till we make it” over the years… until we get tired of doing so, that is.
6. You hate public speaking and team-building exercises.
Being in the spotlight is usually our least desired place to be. It might trigger panic attacks and deep-seated fears. Some introverts do whatever they can to avoid public speaking. In fact, I would happily write a 10-page report over speaking in public any day!
Icebreakers and team-building exercises can be just as daunting. The forced social interaction and the pressure to participate is draining. Introverts prefer meaningful one-on-one conversations or working independently where we can think deeply and focus without interruptions. The idea of bonding through games or activities might seem fun to extroverts, but for us, it can be more exhausting than enjoyable. We thrive in environments where we can contribute thoughtfully and deliberately, rather than being put on the spot.
7. You do things on your own.
Being alone comes naturally to us introverts. This solitude might seem weird to some, but introverts feel comfortable in their own company. We don’t need to fill silence with chatter or be with people just to avoid appearing strange. (Believe me, we have enough chatter in our own minds to keep us entertained.)
Solitude is how we “defrag” our brain and listen to our own thoughts without the noise of the world around us. Without others around, we can hear and organize our thoughts, processing them more clearly.
Do you ever struggle to know what to say?
As an introvert, you actually have the ability to be an amazing conversationalist — even if you’re quiet and hate small talk. To learn how, we recommend this online course from our partner Michaela Chung. Click here to check out the Introvert Conversation Genius course.
8. You might not leave your house for extended periods of time.
Our home is our sanctuary. It’s where we can embrace quiet time and focus on our own needs and hobbies.
I once shared a home with an exceptionally extroverted roommate. She had a lot of pent-up trauma and frustration from a past relationship that would always come up in conversation when we were in the same room. It became a nightmare and would often result in my hiding in my bedroom until my energy reserves had the capacity to deal with listening to the same story on repeat.
So, if you consider yourself a “quiet one,” make your home your sanctuary, and you’ll be one happy introvert.
9. You appear zoned out
Introverts have rich inner worlds and can often be found daydreaming or lost in thought. This might seem weird or unproductive to others, but it serves a valuable purpose for us. Daydreaming allows us to process our thoughts, reflect on experiences, and explore ideas creatively. It’s a way for us to recharge mentally and emotionally.
When we appear to be zoning out, we might be deeply engaged in our own minds, contemplating life, or maybe just overstimulated. So, if you see us staring off into space, know that we might be taking a moment to connect with our inner selves. 
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