Does the thought of a typical Valentine’s Day date make you cringe? Introverts have their own way of giving and receiving love.
Does the typical Valentine’s Day date — dinner in a loud, crowded restaurant with over-the-top public declarations of love — make you cringe?
If so, you might be an introvert.
Introverts take a quieter, more low-key approach to life, from their love of observation to their desire to stay out of the spotlight. And for many introverts, Valentine’s Day is no different. We don’t need all the fanfare.
That doesn’t mean we don’t want to feel loved and appreciated. We just have a different style when it comes to giving and receiving affection. It’s part of who we are.
If you’re in a relationship with an introvert, here are 17 low-key Valentine’s Day ideas.
Valentine’s Day Ideas for Introverts
1. Cook a special dinner together at home.
Home is where the introvert’s heart is. Skip the crowded restaurant — which may be overstimulating for an introvert — and create a more intimate, relaxed atmosphere in your own kitchen. Plus, you’ll save money since many restaurants rush you through the meal and mark up their prices on this special day. Here are some cozy date night dinner recipes you can make at home.
2. Write a love letter to each other.
Introverts may struggle to say what’s on their mind — and in their heart — but often feel more comfortable expressing themselves in writing. Go old school: Grab a pen and paper, and write a love letter. Invite your partner to do the same. You may discover a side of them you’ve never seen before.
Feeling awkward about it? Here are some tips for writing a great love letter.
3. Get takeout and binge-watch a great series.
This is the quintessential introvert date — easy and low-key. Some of my recent favorites are Severance, Only Murders in the Building, and BoJack Horseman. Or, since it’s Valentine’s Day, you might want to check out these romantic movies (just make sure they’re available on your streaming service!).
4. Peruse a local bookstore.
Rows upon rows of inspiration, knowledge, and imagination — perfect for the intellectual introvert. Wander through the shelves of a cozy independent bookstore and get lost in the possibilities. Bonus: Pick out a book for each other that you think they’ll love. Or, try this bookstore scavenger hunts. End the date with a hot latte or a glass of wine.
5. Give each other a massage.
In the comfort of your own home, of course. Level up on your massage skills here.
6. Get brunch together.
Brunch is more low-key than dinner. If your schedule allows, go in the morning when the restaurant is quieter. If you have to work, consider going for a special brunch the weekend before or after Valentine’s Day.
7. Break out of an escape room.
A detective goes missing, and you only have an hour to scour his office for clues and crack the case! I recently did an escape room, and it was a blast. Granted, it was a group event, but it wasn’t as draining as a typical gathering — there was no time for small talk. Assemble a team of your favorite couples for a fun, brain-teasing challenge. Introverts who love a good mystery will get a thrill from this unforgettable group date.
8. Get outside.
Winter can be tough for anyone, but especially for introverts, who are sensitive to their environment and often prefer staying ind. A little time in nature and sunshine can be a great mood booster. Take a walk through a scenic or historic neighborhood and enjoy a meaningful conversation, or rent bikes and explore. If it’s too cold, escape to a local conservatory and wander among the flowers.
9. Take a brewery tour or go wine tasting.
Sip a craft IPA or swirl a rich cabernet — way more relaxed than a crowded bar.
10. Throw a game night at home.
Break out your favorite two-player game, add pizza and drinks, and settle in for a cozy night. Or, if you’re up for it, host a low-key board game night with a few other couples. (Here are some tips on how to make it easier.) Hosting can be less draining for introverts than attending an event since they have more control — they pick the guests, the schedule, and the activities.
11. Go to a cat café.
Yes, cat cafés are real — and they’re popping up in more and more cities. Sip coffee, relax, and spend time with adorable cats. For animal-loving introverts, what’s not to love?
12. Visit an art, science, or history museum.
Feed an introvert’s intellectual side, and their heart will follow. Check for special exhibits before you go to make the experience even more memorable.
13. Take a class together.
Many introverts love learning and deepening their knowledge in niche areas. Try a cooking, painting, mixology, or dance class together for a fun and engaging experience.
14. Take a tour together.
Explore your city’s history while riding a Segway, or go on a haunted ghost tour and let your imagination run wild.
Are you an introvert who shuts down around the people you’re attracted to?
As an introvert, you actually have the amazing ability to be irresistible, without forcing yourself to talk more. It all starts with recognizing the most common myths about dating and learning a framework for fun, flirty conversations — no extroversion needed. To learn how to connect with your true sensuality, relax, and open up on dates, we recommend Michaela Chung’s online courses for introverted men and introverted women.
15. Get away for just one night.
Stay in a charming historic hotel or a secluded cabin — just for a night, so it won’t break the budget. Order room service, relax, and enjoy a quiet escape without even leaving your cozy retreat.
16. Take in a show at a local jazz club.
Nothing says romance like smooth jazz. If jazz isn’t your thing, find live music that suits your taste — just aim for something intimate and laid-back rather than loud and wild.
17. Serve breakfast in bed.
Nothing says cozy and relaxed like breakfast in bed. Here are some delicious recipes to try. 
